TMCM,
Thanks a ton for your reply.
We had MC last night and the MC really seemed to put it to her concerning her inability to make a decision. AT least it wasn't me. She immediately went home and buried her head under a pillow and would not wake up... The pressure that she is putting on herself at this point seems to be causing her to become physically and mentally ill and unstable.
I have exposed the A to both her parents and my parents shortly after I found out about the PA (that was four weeks ago and her parents also believed that it was an EA at the time and supposedly mine knew nothing about the PA).
The OM is single as far as I know. He lives on the West Coast and we live on the East coast. I have found out his home phone, address, full name, and possibly his personal mobile # through concerted snooping... My WS would not divulge any of that private informatino to me so my only option was to get that info in other ways. I have not yet contacted him but have considered different options as far as that is concerned. I am interested in hearing what others have done WRT contacting the OM/OW, why, and what was achieved from both a positive and a negative standpoint...
My WS explains to me that he is also terribly confused and feels that the A is not right... But he continues it so in my mind that makes him a pretty immoral person. Of course he is also caught up in the romantic love that has developed and is most likely an addict as well as my WS. I have found that my personal efforts in Plan A may have had an affect on the OW's perspective... He's got to have started understanding now that he really has no foot to stand on and that this A will only bring pain to him and my WS (not to mention our child and myself).
I have not yet revealed her plans (she now says that she will most likely not go) to have a romantic rendezvous in NYC with the OM to her parents or my parents.
Were you explaining that I should expose those plans or that I should expose the A in general. I have already done the latter.
She does seem to understand that if she is to travel she will now need to either have me accompany her (along with our child) or that if she is to travel for work or other reasons where I am uninvited that she will have to arrange for someone to take care of our son for those days she is gone. Does that sound like Plan A material?
Thanks in advance for any comments.
This has been the most painful and trying experience in my life. I have been through various trying and painful experiences so far during my life but living through this is absolutely hands down the most complicated, emotionally draining, defeating, uplifting, worrisome, scary, intimidating, creative, life changing event that I could ever imagine. I can only thank the MB site and the hundreds (thousands!) of people here that have shared their stories and experiences both successful and not. I thank you from the deepest parts of my heart and soul. All of you have provided answers when there were none and instilled hope when it was gone.
Now two months into Plan A it has proven to be very difficult for me. The progress is slow but I do see it (seemingly in both of us). I am confident that we will ultimately be successful and make it to the recovery stage.
