i posted the entire,long,complete story...but i think i lost it.i'll try to be brief,but i really need any thoughts
on this.

i am not married,but close enough.(it is/was in the very near future).my bf and i moved in together,after he pushed me into it.i was not ready,as i had unresolved issues still with my ex..so,short of the long is that i cheated early
on (in the first few months)and i told him recently,hoping we could move on,and be stronger.it backfired,i moved out.
we didn't speak for a week.during that week..he went to his old college town and slept with another girl.he then woke up the next morning telling her it was a mistake,and left.

(we were living apart for the next 3 months)and he never mentioned that when making me feel horrible for what i did to him.everything is still all my fault.

well,he asked me to come back home,and then told me that
he had done this,and that the woman in question is saying
that she is pregnant!I am devastated,and completely heart-broken.I just need some help in figuring out if i can deal with this.there are some issues though that I have a hard time swallowing...

he leaves the next morning,rejecting her.

she calls him a month later saying she is pregnant.he says okay," i will be a father to the child etc..."

they talk again (mom invites him to the future shower???)
he says he wants a dna test,

then she calls a week later saying she is bleeding,etc having problems..not out of the woods,may miscarry.(2 close calls already)

then he calls everyday for a week,leaving messages asking her to call him back..no response.

a week after that her 'mother' calls him and says not to contact her...it's too much pressure.that THEY will call
on occasion and let him know how things are going...WTF???

almost three months have passed..not one word..

he is being very distant(i think he is still really hurt).
and not being very open right now (he refuses to talk about it at all.)

he said he will respect her wishes,and he will not call her.
Why are HER wishes more important than mine????why can he not see MY pain???he tells me that i need to accept the fact that he is gonna have a child...but he refuses to think
she may not be telling the truth.am i in serious denial??
he thinks she is pregnant,and she's going to give the child up for adoption...i don't know.something doesn't seem right.she gave him no due date,none of the normal things pregnant people talk about.

he knows that if she is,and it's his..i may not stay with him...and i think if she contacted him,he would tell me.

anyone been here before?what can i expect?what should i do?

and one more question...why is he not showing me any affection???is he just rubber banding from all the confusion, or is this a red flag?

Of course anyone can fake a pregnancy and did your BF see a test?

I too agreee this sounds fishy, but you know as well as anyone else that it only takes one time..

so are you sure you want to be with this man? I see that from your posts above that you seemed pretty unsure till this pregnancy popped up.

You and your BF do not have children correct?

I would in your place move on and not have to deal with any of it... If it was meant to be I think after all the dna issues were resolved and CS established... then if you feel strongly enough it would still be salvagable.

thanks for responding...

we do not have children together, i have 2 young children
though that he is really close to,and he had planned to adopt.

he has not even seen this girl (let alone a test of any kind)since the one night they spent together.

i was sure i wanted to be with him before i ever went back
home.i did have some commitment issues,that i am now aware of, and working on them...but i did realize that he was the one for me....now this!

i asked him to request a medical document if he hears from her again,but i don't know if he will.if he does not...i will demand one as a requirement for my being with him.

another thing is..for a while there...he was acting funny
about his cell phone.not leaving it out.and he absolutely will not let me get into his briefcase(he says it's like him
going through my desk at work).i did find her number one time..and he "threw it away"...i wonder if it is in his briefcase and he doesn't want me to know he kept it,and that's why he won't let me look in there.i wouldn't blame him at this point for keeping her number on hand...but what about his cell phone..with his personality..i think he is trying to give me a taste of my own medicine,acting the way i used to act when i was cheating.But i also wonder if he is having contact with her.i don't think he would keep it from me if he was,maybe it's my imagination working over time..but i am just freaking out.i really do not think i can be with him if this woman is pregnant with his child.
but i don't want to leave him for nothing...she could have
made the whole thing up out of hurt feelings and rejection.
i am having a really hard time not knowing!!i have no idea what to prepare myself and my kids for.The waiting is killing me.And her due date (assuming she is pregnant by my
BF is the end of dec/first of Jan.

I can not wait that long!!Don't you think she would have contacted him by now?OR at least her mommy would have(if for nothing else...money for prenatal care).?
if my mom was handling something like this for me...she'd be
on the horn everyday calling him wanting to know when i am gonna get money for the doctor,and telling him what a piece of trash he was for getting her daughter pregnant!!!

i am afraid that i am way too far in denial...but i cannot bare the thought of this actually happening.i am losing my mind.

I am sorry that you are having to deal with these issues. My only advice is to pray for God's guidance. As humans we want to know everything, make a plan to fix a problem, and then congratulate ourselves when we make it through. I have learned that it is immpossible for us to completely understand why things happen. God wants us to turn to him for everything, the good and the bad. He is the only one who can fix something that we see as broken beyond repair. This doesn't mean that everything will be great in a few days. God is never late, never early, but always right on time. In his time, things will be OK.

Pink princess, legally because they are not married she can not ask him for one dime until paternity is estblished.

If she got her mom involved though......I would think she is telling the truth. I KNOW my mom would never lie to someone about that for me.

OKAY...it had been 2.5 months since we heard a word from this girl.i found out she lied to him about her age(she'24
told him she was 27)not sure why.by her address history,she seems unstable.

that being said..she emailed him last friday and said that
she had an ultrasound,and is further along than she thought,
and went on to say that he is NOT the father.He thinks she is lying.I din't know what to do.I wish i knew one way or another.She told him initially that he was the "only one"
she'd been with in a while...okay.

this does not make sense.i am confused and furious.

Keep the email, and forget about it. IF she ever files then do something. If not live your lives and be happy!

Pink you can use that email in court to your advantage... the woman may try to get cs later but the courts will not find fault with your husband if they see he had a reason to believe the child was not his in her own words.... this way the only money she will get from her filing date and not retro from the birth.

It doesn't really matter what she says or emails...if paternity comes back and it is proven he is the father, then he is the father...he will also have to pay back CS if the court requires that in your state! Just be careful!