You are a vessel ... and the FAKE part of you is the part that denies your true nature.

so there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

DOES NOT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Cold and stony felt way better than hurt and crying.

You are confusing the heck out of me. There is nothing fake about me...I even have real boobs (unlike some of my friends)!

I am not denying my true nature!!!!

[color:"blue"] Froz ... I know how this feels. Remember? I've been the BS of a 2 year affair. [/color]


[color:"blue"] You're such a generous woman to tell him this ~after~ you agreed to marry him. [/color]


[color:"blue"] Because he loves you, you beautiful vessel you![/color]


[color:"blue"]Now you're talking truth!

Your mind is betraying you.

Grab hold of your faith .. it works better at times like these.[/color]

[color:"blue"] You liar you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> .... Hurt and crying feels alive. Are you saying you would like your kids to feel cold and stony? [/color]

[color:"blue"] OK ... go to the mirror and look yourself in the eyes. Tell yourself that your true nature is one that will not hold love.

Then go say the same thing OUT LOUD to your husband and your kids.

"I am NOT faking it. I really cannot accept love from any of you. So don't offer me any more dayum love."[/color]

Then why don't you understand me?



You are wrong on both points...I AM generous. Also, he knew I felt that way before we got married.



What proof do you have of this? Marrying someone is not proof. Staying with someone is not proof. People marry all the time for a variety of reasons.

I know for a fact that he fears being alone. I also know that he is a logical thinker and I'm a pretty logical choice.

Logically speaking...I am smart, somewhat attractive, come from a pretty well-to-do family, own my own business and make a good living. Let's not forget that I would walk through fire for him. Where else is he going to find that? Who would let THAT go????

But, that is all about me and how I feel about him. NOT how he feels about me!

You know what he used to say when I asked him why he loves me? At the top of his list was always "because you love me so much"!

That is what I think it is about.

I am saying numbness feels better than pain.

[color:"blue"] nice try [/color]

I never said my true nature is one that will not hold love. I said it doesn't hold PATRIOT'S love.

What is it you think I am "trying" to do?

[color:"blue"] Like Pink Floyd's The Wall ... brick by brick.

Do you prefer novacain with your orange juice or nembutol?

Number than Dr. Spock??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

You get to feel an eternity of numb when you're dead ... until then ... it's nothing but pain and joy.... but maybe you don't want joy either? [/color]

Ya know what? It's been an awful lot of pain and not very much joy for me. The only time it was joyful, I learned it wasn't real...all a lie.

Do I want joy?

YES!

If I knew how to get there, I would run.

I think you are attempting to draw me into a another discussion about our "communication problem" again ---> "Why don't you inderstand me then?"

You were trying to push me away.

I wasn't trying to do that. I promise.

You get there by going through the pain. Kind of like childbirth.

Pushing and pain . Then joy.

At the risk of sounded jaded...I've been pushing for 35 years and I've yet to see a bundle of joy.

You can't make someone love you, no matter how hard you push.

[color:"blue"] You need to push YOURSELF to open up and recieve love. Give birth to the joy of being filled .... as a vessel.

You are resisting love and you are pushing love away with both hands and then playing victim that no one loves you ... and, it's crap!

You are just scared and stubborn!

You can't make up your mind

1. YOU are Unloveable ...

or

2. Patriot is NOT in love with you ...

or

3. You are so full of holes and thus a defective vessel

...... anything to avoid the risk of being vulnerable ... as a vessel is vulnerable.

I flat out think you're scared ... and NOT defective. But, you prefer to think of yourself as defective. Which is, quite frankly, a bunch of crap.[/color]

[color:"blue"] I'm gonna call a time out.

I need to shower .. and my legs are needing some quality razor time ...

And tonight is my TV show I've becomed hooked on ... BRAT CAMP ... it is soooo interesting and inspiring ... and it reminds me of my 19-year-old son ... who just called me to ask for money LOL[/color]