i have been married 3 1/2 yrs. my husband has been cheating on me for a while but everytime he said its just internet chatting. today i found out from a girl hwo happen to live in china that my husband came to visit her last year when he was on his way back to the us from visiting his parents in india. i called the girl from the no that keep comes out on his cell phone at odd hours and when i asked him he said he does not know who it was.
i chatted with the girl and she said my husband told her he will bring her over to states and that he came to meet her for a day visit and they had sex.that was september last year and that she really loved my husband.
i flip off and i called him up and he said he does not know what i am talking about then i decided to pack up my suff and leave for california as right now i am travelling with him in some other states. then he called me when i was at the airport and he said the reason he's doing all these things is because he doesnt love me from the beginning of our marriage and he said he is not like this and tha is why he is not happy. i am just so sad and shock. he said he cared about me but he doesnt love me. and he said its just his stupidity that he married me and that because of his madness he went to see the girl in china.
he told me before whatever he do i can't leave him. cause he cannot live without me. and now he's telling me he's not feeling it with me . i just don't know what to do and believe anymore. he asked me to go back to the hotel cause he wants to talk to me. i did and right now i am out for work waiting for him i just don't know what to do. i just cant believe that he said he doesnt love me but married me and the troule he goes to for one of his affairs. what do i do. i love him so much but he makes me feel that its because he doesnt love me all this problem arises. help me please someone.

Zaara,

I only have a minute, but let me tell you that what your WH (Wayward Husband) is saying to you is taken directly from the "Wayward Spouses Handbook." Many a WS has given the same speech as you describe here, claiming that "I love you but I am not in love with you."

Revising the history of the relationship, you see, is the easiest way to explain their crummy, rotten cheating behavior.

Read up on WATS quick start guide and don't give up hope yet. Your WH will say a lot of mean, troubling things in the days ahead. It doesn't mean your marriage is over or that it can't recover. It means that your WS is in a fog.

Hang in there. Others will post.

~ Snow

we'll we talk yesterday and he said he can't see himself growing old with me and he gave 2 options.one stay together but he will be misreable and 2nd seperated. and his option is seperating because he said if we stay together he won't have the respect from me anymore but then i said well get a divorce straight away and i said i want cash a house and a car. then after talking about stuff he said please help him he doesnt know what he said he do love me just that he's confused and i said because of that i have to pay for it. how he's been treating me all this while. i told him i will called his family and tell them we getting divorce and he said no please help him he's just confused and asked me for another chance and stick with him. from last nite i avoided eye contact with him and i throw away his wedding ring and he went and get it back from the trash. he said he needs help bla bla bla. and up till today i have not talk to him or look at him. he sleeps in another bed i am in another. i love him with what i have we have gone through so many bad obstacles from his family and they are now happy cause he's happy. i am just tinking of my strategy i don't want to get hurt in case i have to step out from this marriage. will check out the book. thank you. i am still thinking.