my husband left 15 months ago. before he left, i asked him to list his emotional needs but he wouldn't let me try to meet any of them. he said it was "too little, too late"

two weeks ago i discovered that he left to be near a married woman that he had an affair with the year before.

now that i know the truth, i've told his family, contacted her, and i "may have" talked to her husband (read my post about that)

so now it seems that the affair might be over and i seem to begetting a chance to meet some of his emotional needs.

please help me to develop a great plan A. i've only got e-mail a few phone calls and very few visits to make some love bank deposits.

I AM avoiding love busters!!

his needs:
openness and honesty-need ideas!
recreational companionship-won't let me
admiration/affection-need ideas!
sexual fullfillment-i wish
physical attractiveness-i think i'm okay here

please go to general questions II and read my posts. i really need help

eav1967, we all make the mistake of approaching Plan A as if it is designed to kiss our wandering spouses a$$. It is not. If your H lets you in then you do the best you can based on the information he is providing you. BUT you don't do things you will resent. Only what is acceptable to you in a loving relationship.

But more importantly Plan A is about you. You get more exercise, you dress for you everday. Wear makeup. Read. Go out (with your female friends). Do the positive things you have always wanted to do for YOU. Plan A is designed to get your H to notice the positive changes in you. To get his attention that you may have actually started planning for a life without him. And that is precisely the idea. To be prepared for any eventuality. Control what you can control. Don't pursue, beg, grovel etc. Simply become the strongest most beautiful, self assured, funny girl you can be. Good luck. He'll stand up and notice that.

thank you woe

i have spent the past months doing plan A type things but i did not avoid love busters.

i didn'tknow why things were not getting better but i found out a few weeks ago that it was because he was seeing the other woman again.

i have told his family, i contacted her (her daughter and mother know about my husband from the last time they were together and it caused a problem when it showed up on thier caller ID-the daughter told her husband. I gota call from someone who "might" have been him (i'm not sure)

but it seems the affair might be over. (not positive) but one good sign is that my husband is talking about moving away from where he is now-which is close to her.

he's talking about moving 3hours away to be near his family.

If the affair has ended-maybe now my plan A will allow him to reconnect with me-he has disconnected so much that even it the affair is over-he may not want to come back to me.

i am trying hard to make deposits in his love band and i'm looking for new ideas based upon his needs.

thanks for responding.

ps
i thought plan A was all about a$$ kissing too!