I am new here and posted 1st over in another thread. I don't actully know which 1 to post in so maybe ya'll can give me direction.

My H and I have been together for 8 years. About 3 1/2 years or so ago my H was out of control. He was drinking alot,cheating,abusing me emotinally and verbally. After I had finally had enough and found out about the affair we separated. After the brief separation and H's promises we got back together and started going to church. Things were fine up until about a year or so ago. He has slowing been transforming back to that horrible H he once was. I have tried I think everything praying, begged,screamed, cried, pleaded, consulted my counselor,ultimatiums, etc... Nothing I have done has seemed to reach him at all. We have been to theropy together 1 time, but he won't go back, always says he's too busy. I never follow through with my ultimatiums because I don't want a divorce. We are almost ready to move into our dream home we built. I don't know if I should stand strong and not move and separate or try and see once we are there if things settle down some. His drinking is out of control and his name call is killing my spirt. Can anyone offer any miracle answers I haven't thought of.

Thanks

There aren't any miracle answers. In the presence of addictions (alcohol), there is very little of any part of MB that will help you restore your relationship.

People with addictions are controlled by the addiciton, they aren't in control of themselves, therefore they can't change themselves.

I know from my experience with my husband cheating and abuse ultimitations do not work. They know you are not going to follow through because you have threatned it so many times. You should follow through with being seperated. If he really loves you he will wake up and change. If he dosen't you will be better off. I know the way you are living is no way to live. It is not easy to do. I will pray for you. God Bless you.