Hi, a friend told me about this Forum, hoping to get some advise from one of you.

This is my problem.

My husband and I got separated a month ago, and the reason is because he is confuse about his sexuality, his confusion drive us apart, Its been 2 years now and since then we fight a lot and he did not wanted to make plans for our future, like have kids and taking vacations.

He said the he is not attractive to me any more at least not sexually, he said the he loves me very much but he cant give me what I need right now.

So I beg him to go to an specialist and he refuses to go, he said the nobody can help me that its something that he has to figure out by him self.

So I got tired of waiting and we decided to take a break and live apart from one another, I pushed the issue thinking that not been with me he was going to change and try to get some help.

But its been a month already and we are being in touch kind of, sometimes I get mad and I dont want to talk to him and sometimes I am so nice and tell him to take his time but I dont really know what to do. I kind of imposible tha he said the he loves me and yet he does not do anything to get help for his problems.

He just concentrates in working like 10 hours a day and he does not do anything else.

I want to said the he was not like that when we dated and the first 2 years of our marriage, everything was so ok back then, and I want that, I want us to be happy together.

If somebody had the same experience than me, please give me an advise, I would like to know if I can apply the Plan B maybe but I dont really undestand how It works.

So please some advice.

Thank you.

Rochio <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Orchid: Welcome to MB. For starters, please read the concepts section above.


Orchid: Please clarify what he is confused about.


Orchid: He is babbling. Now go find out why.


Orchid: NO begging will help a WS in the making. Stop the begging. Go read Surviving an Affair so you can find the tell tale signs.


Orchid: You have just started this sordid journey (not of your own choosing). Now it is time for you to get a personal recovery plan. See if you can call Steve H @ MB for some phone counseling. Read the book I recommended along with His Needs/Her Needs. Both are by Dr. W. Harley. Then call Steve.


Orchid: The 'kind of in touch' gives you a 'false sense of recovery'. He is getting his needs met in more than 1 place and right now he appears t/b using you to meet what he can't get elsewhere.

What you should do is improve yourself and stop helping a WS.


Orchid: Right. So do most WS'. They like to bury themselves into anything but their M and family. You maybe surprised to find out what he is really doing. Have you verified his pay against his hours worked?


Orchid: If you do say it, it probably will fall on deaf ears. WS' don't listen too well.


Orchid: Many have had what you are experiencing. You are not ready for plan B yet.


Orchid: I just did. Hope it helps.

take care,
L.

Welcome to MB!

Please explain how your H is confused about his sexuality. Also, since your friend recommended this forum to you, is your friend hinting at something? Meaning, do you think your H is having an affair? The more you can share, the more we can assist.

Keep posting!

IIRC your H was stating that he thinks he was gay?

Do you still want help? How are you doing?

L.

Its hard for me to said this, but, yes I still need help.

And my H is confuses, he said he is attractive to Transexuals, I ask him if he likes men and he said NO he just said that he is not attactive to any woman right now, he said the he is so curios about the transgenderism. He said that he does not understand why.

I ask him if he feels like he should be a woman and he said that not, he feels like a man but his mind is in transexuals and he said that maybe he is gay, but he said that he does not imaging him self to be with a man, but he imaging him self to be with a transexual.

That the problem that does not let us live apart since 2 years ago, and still he does not want to go and see a specialist.

He said nobody can help, that there is something the he has to figure out by him self.

So now you understand my frustation

Flaquta

I am sorry, What I wanted to said is that, thats the probles that does not let us live happy like we were before.

Hi, Orchid, I still need help. Like I said before I dont know what to do, I am so confused, Can my H loves me as he said he does even do, he does not feel sexually attractive to me? How long can I wait to see if he change?
Should I keep contact with him ( talk on the phone, txt msg, or emails) or should I cut any communication with him, to see if he gets help faster.

See I am affraid the if I dont talk to him, he will move on, and what I want is get him back.

Please help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hi,

I still waiting for help, if somebody has or had the same experience I am going thru, please help me.

Wow, you've stumped me ... and my brother is gay while one of my good friends is a lesbian. Even so, I still don't know what to tell you on this.

Bump for someone w/ much more exp.

Well, I don't know much about it, but do know that there are men who are attracted only to trans-sexuals. And they are usually attracted to men who have become women, and not women who have become men.

So I think I would discuss this more with him. I don't think this is something that he just suddenly figured out.