Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 22 |
Hi All,
I'm a newbie.
My boyfriend of 20 years left me a little over a month ago.
It's been as everybody here knows a shocking and painful experience.
I'm presently in the midst of grieving and trying to come to terms with the end really being the end.
Today I'm stuck on my deep feelings of low self esteem.
I cannot get over the words my partner said "I'm not in love with you",they echo in my ears,go round and round my brain.
My hurt is beyond description.I feel such utter rejection.
How on earth will I ever move on and feel good about who I am?
At times I feel so worthless.
Best BrandyB
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 54
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 54 |
Hi, Brandi. I served with wife with D papers today. I have run the full gamut of emotions through this long long day.
In desperation, I went to Amazon to search for a book on divorcing. I found Divorcing by Melvin M. Belli. If you search on "emotions" using the Inside this Book feature you will find a discussion on a whole range of emotions ranging from anger to guilt to low self esteem.
The author's take is that these emotions are NORMAL as are the ILLUSIONS we hold about the end of the relationship - search on illusions as well. It really helps to know that millions of others have exactly the same feelings and that you can survive them.
Hope this helps
Stev
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 341
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 341 |
BrandyB, I feel the smae way. Utterly rejected, worthless, and lost. Drowning in a deep dark pit. If you find a way to feel better please share with me.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
You know what really helped me?
I was thinking one day... "Why wasn't I worth it?" Why wasn't I worth changing for? Why was I worth listening to? Why wasn't I worth it to him?
This is after I had left him five months earlier.
Then, I thought "It doesn't matter if he values me, it only matters that I value me, therefore I have value. And I do like who I am." Then, I had an epiphany.
I realized something of utmost importance: It didn't matter if no one valued me, not even myself -- I still had value. Why? Because a perfect Creator created me. He wouldn't have made me if I didn't have value to Him.
I try to keep this in mind.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,885 |
I know how you all feel. I also fel that way at times. The only thing that has brought me through this is GOD. I know that all of this has happened for a reason. There must be something better out there for me. I try to be as posiitve as I can. It's been a year since my STBX walked out. Every day that goes by does get easier. One day at a time. If God brings you to it...he will see you through it. I honestly believe that!!!
Me 35
STBX 39
Dear son 9
Married...15 years (Jan. 20, 1990)
D-Day July 20, 2004.
Divorcing!
What goes around comes around
Sometimes we have to hold our head high, blink back the tears and say GOOD-BYE
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
1,146
guests, and
86
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,520
Members72,026
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
