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Is her constant vacillation normal?
#1443564 08/03/05 03:53 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
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sundog
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sundog
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WW is (supposedly) in NC with OM for three weeks now. Throughout this whole time (4 months now) she has constantly vacillated on wanting to be with me, and wanting to be with him.

She says not only do her feelings change daily, but even hourly some days. She is still feeling this way after 3 weeks of NC. Is this a normal feeling for the WS at this point?
Re: Is her constant vacillation normal?
sundog #1443565 08/03/05 05:21 AM
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Suzet* Offline
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Suzet*
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Sundog,

Yes, it’s normal – 3 weeks of NC is still very early. This thread on withdrawal will give you much insight.

Just make sure your W is really in NC with OM.

Blessings,
Suzet
Re: Is her constant vacillation normal?
Suzet* #1443566 08/03/05 10:57 PM
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whisper28 Offline
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whisper28
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Yes, it is quite normal. And, the worst triggers for her will be when you LB. Meaning, when my H did something that made me angry or was disappointing, that's when I would revert back to my fantasy of the A. The good news is that (for me) the vaccillation ended after 4 or 5 weeks of NC. Now, even when we're in an argument, I never think of the OM as an automatic response ... and I've only been in NC for a little over 2 months. So, yes, it's normal @ 3 weeks, and it will ebb with time.

Hang in there,

Whisper

FWW (me) 32 / BH 33
M - 12 yrs / 0 kids
EA/PA lasted 1.5 yrs
NC - 5/25/05 ... in recovery ever since!!!

"If you love something, set it free ..."
(Just glad I was smart enough to come back!)

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