I have been divorced since February because I had an affair and he found out about it. Since then, I have been using Plan A to try and get my H back. Since the divorce, I have been in a major depression and can't believe that I let the best thing that ever happened to me go just because I thought I wanted something more. We are going to court for the house and some other stuff next week and I am scared to do this because I think that it is going to make him hate me more. I've tried calling, talking and writing to him and nothing works. He changed his phone number so now I could only contact him through email. I've sent him many emails accepting my faults and explaining to him that I am really sorry for what I have done. He never responds. His grandfather died about 3 weeks ago and I sent him a sympathy email telling him that I was sorry. Finally I got a response that simply said "Thank you". Other than that, he wants nothing to do with me. What should I do? I love him with all of my heart and am willing to do everything that I can to reunite with him. From the way I explained things, could it be possible to get my H back or is it over?

Until he permits you back into his life, there is no hope...

To be blunt, you betrayed him in the WORST way possible and it is his right to divorce you from ALL aspects of his life...reconcilation is up to him, not you.

There is NOTHING you can do to make him "see the light" under the conditions you describe.

Until he communicates to you, you are SOL.

You need to think about letting him go...only you know when it's time for you to let go of him...

Something to consider...during your efforts to show him the better JT, at what point will you transition from "wooing" to "stalking"? He may REALLY be tiring of all of this...you don't know what he thinks because he's not communicating with you...

He may need more time/space...he may want you to leave him alone...

This is a tough spot you're in...whatever the outcome...LEARN FROM IT.

Good luck...it sounds like you have seen the error of your ways, but it may be too late...

Scott

Hi Jaclyn,

I am sorry that things are bad now between you and your former BH.But as you know,it is his right not to be in contact with you anymore after experiencing all that pain from the A.I have to say that I am like him too.I want nothing to do with my STBXWH anymore and never will.There is just nothing he could ever do or say that would allow me to take him back even if he wanted me to.

I think it is good that you are remorseful about what you did but if I had to fathom a guess,I would say it is over and you should move on.Anything can happen though so there is always..."one day"... but I would not count on it by your Ex's reaction right now.It would make me more upset if my Ex kept trying to contact me so I would stop that.If he is at all receptive,let him come to you.Again,one day,if he is willing.Some percentage of couples do remarry eachother(can't remember what the % is) so there is hope.But only you can decide how long you want to wait or hope for this possibility.

So sorry.

O

You're right, I definately have learned a big lesson from this. He may infact never ever ever want me back, but inside, I still have this faith in me telling me that with time, he will. Before we got married, my XH cheated on me and had a baby with another girl. We parted for 1 year and then found our way back to each other. Since we got back together and got married, I couldn't have asked for a better man. He was completely a devoted, faithful and loyal H. He is just a wonderful man. So I don't believe the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" because he is a prime example of that not being true. I'm glad that I found it in my heart to forgive him and have faith that he learned from his mistake and together we could grow from it. I just wish he would find it in his heart to do the same.

I know that in order for progress to be made, he has to be willing to communicate. I just hope that with time he will.

Is there anybody out there who thinks reuniting is possible? Some positive advice would be nice.

I hate to say it, but if he is REFUSING to communicate with you in ANY way, there is NOTHING you can do...

YOu can send flowers, gifts, cars, Rolexes and it won't matter a bit. Until the two of you can effectively communicate with each other, there really isn't anything you can do...

I also didn't realize your XH was a WH...that may be your problem. With that in your past, that may somehow be driving his refusal to even talk with you...

IC with SH is a good way to go...at least you can say that you did EVERYTHING you could...there is some satisfaction in that.

Sorry.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Scott