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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321
J
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J Offline
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321
So back at the end of May WH moves back home, and within two weeks he says it is a mistake. That he only did it for the money. End of June FW (fantasy woman) tells him to "Bug off" (that is what I suspect). Mid July he is still talking D, but not doing anything about it. I go ahead and get an apartment and sign a lease. He is staying in the house to provide "stability" for the DD's. I don't want the responsibility of the house and dog (I did it for 7 months while he was out having a midlife crisis). Every time I did something about moving he would get angry and say things like "whatever" or "fine". He expected me not to buy any furniture for my new place and live with the bare minimum as he did. Now he is acting like he isn't sure he wants a D. He hasn't said that, but he is acting almost human like towards me. But as usual I can see the mood swings come and go, and I never know what I am going to get. I mentioned taking things one month at a time, kind of like what he did when he had moved (sans OW). I told him that if we were going to make this marriage work, it would mean actually having conversations about EN's. I asked him to reconsider coming back to MC with me and I also mentioned the wedding ring. The only thing he did respond to was when I said that we could always talk to my landlord (family friend) about the lease should we end up working things out.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to proceed. I will start staying in my apt, next week. The DD's will go back and forth every other week. Should I ask him to spend one day a week with me (dating)? Should we try to do family things? I made it clear to him that I did not plan on seeing other people and asked him to do the same. He said he didn't plan on seeing anyone else. Or should I do a Plan B for awhile and see how he likes being alone?


"LET GO.....OR GET DRAGGED" me 42 WH 42 DD 12, 11 Married 15 years, known 17 EA 7/04- continued "coincidental" contact DD 9/24/04 He moved out 10/04 Plan A since 9/04 Wh moved home 5/05 "didn't want to be there" OW told him to "leave me alone" 7/05 I moved out 8/05 10/05 WH hasn't filed the divorce papers YET!!
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921
S
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S Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 921
Homer,

Sorry to hear you are still dealing with all this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Been following your story for a while and I know you love him. My vote (and I could be wrong) but let him know that you still love him and then Plan B. You need to move forward and heal and he just may come back. Don't try to get him to date you as I also asked my WW and she refused.

I know you get tired of me saying this but take care of YOU! You can't take of your WH if he will not accept your help.

Pursue your hobbies, enjoy your children, pour yourself into your career. He still may come around but whether he does or does not, you will be a stronger person than before. Plus if he notices that you are moving on it just may cause him to re-think everything.

Keith


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