I have been divorced since February because I had an affair and he found out about it. Since then, I have been using Plan A to try and get my H back. Since the divorce, I have been in a major depression and can't believe that I let the best thing that ever happened to me go just because I thought I wanted something more. We are going to court for the house and some other stuff next week and I am scared to do this because I think that it is going to make him hate me more. I've tried calling, talking and writing to him and nothing works. He changed his phone number so now I could only contact him through email. I've sent him many emails accepting my faults and explaining to him that I am really sorry for what I have done. He never responds. His grandfather died about 3 weeks ago and I sent him a sympathy email telling him that I was sorry. Finally I got a response that simply said "Thank you". Other than that, he wants nothing to do with me. What should I do? I love him with all of my heart and am willing to do everything that I can to reunite with him. From the way I explained things, could it be possible to get my H back or is it over?

jaclyn

could you tell us what happened between the time he discovered the affair and the DV, are kids involved, how long married, as much as you feel you can share as it will help to understand the situation

JT,

If I were in your shoes, I would contact Steve Harley, via the counseling link on this website.

Call and make an appointment. He can give you a specific plan custom to your situation. He's not cheap, but far cheaper than a divorce.

If things still don't work out, you can move on in peace knowing you did everything you could do to put your marriage back together. Call him today.

Well, my XH and I were together for a total of 7 years and married for almost 3 of those years. While dating, my husband cheated on me and had a child with another women. We seperated for over a year and then found our way back to each other. Since we got back together, he had been great. He was a devoted, faithful, loyal husband. Because of him, I believe that people can change. I don't believe the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater". Anyway, towards the last year of our marriage, I began to feel as though I was missing out on something. I didn't really think that I was happy in our relationship. My XH and I would always argue because I wanted him to be more affectionate, compassionate and communicative with me. He would always tell me to stop arguing about this petty stuff and that he shows me he loves me by providing for me. Anyway, I felt that I wanted more and that is what caused the affair. After he found out what happened, he left me instantly. The divorce was finalized in February. Since then, I have tried talking with him and he is just not having it. I've apologized several times and still nothing. I understand that my XH is very hurt with me and I understand that it may take time, but I just don't see any sort of progress. He doesn't communicate with me whatsoever. I'm afraid that by going to court, I am going to make things worse. I just wish that I had something to go by. I love him very much and realized that what I thought that I wanted, wasn't really what I wanted. I had what I wanted and let it go. I'm willing to do whatever I can to try and reunite with my XH, but sometimes I think that it may be wishful thinking on my part. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

JT,

Even though you are divorced - I know SH is the key to helping you figure out if it's too late or not. He can tell you what next step to take. You cannot go wrong by calling him. He is particularly sensitive to WS.

Well, you really can't be in Plan A because, "Plan A is for the betrayed spouse to negotiate with the wayward spouse to totally separate from the lover without angry outbursts, disrespect, and demands." (Surviving An Affair - Dr Willard Harley)

I vote you call Steve Harley.

Also, sometimes anything/everything you do will not work.

Why do you keep posting your very first post?

In fact why aren't you just bumping this thread up?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2759998

What do you mean by bumping the thread up? I'm new here and not too familiar with this process.

Bumping of a thread is done to make sure that the thread is at the top of the list or at least the first page.

For example lets say this thread was at the very top on the first page and than 5 minutes later so many people have posted on different threads that this thread is on page 2, well what you do get back to the top where people will see it so that it increases your chances that someone will respond is called bumping.


Another thing is that it's best that you keep to one thread too. You have two threads that have the exact same title.

Another thing is that in the other Not responding thread you asked if everyone was so negative yet before in the link I posted above people gave you the advice that you needed.

Another thing to remember is that begging and pleading is unattractive.