This is it. We're going to trial and I don't think I can handle it. Wife has fueded fiercely with members of my family, destroying our marriage and all relations and is now divorcing to punish me.

I hardly see my kids, I have restrictions everywhere because my son has autism, she has an RO which she lied to get, and now both our homes may go to her along with alimony and support that I cannot afford.

All the while, her large family is pushing her to get it all and leave me in the street after all these years of honest hard work.

I'm just sick over the fact that she uses my kids against me, holds them back when she wants and has threatened to never allow them to spend holidays with me and my family.

I know all about family court and have been there but the crap you go through just to get her to comply is ridiculous. Bottom line is she can get away with it at my cost and me and the kids suffer.

I am contemplating leaving "completely" so she'll never get a penny from me even though I've never spited her because of the kids. The thought of my young kids (8, 6, 16 months) living without me and hardly seeing me while I shell out most of my paycheck and assets is too much to bear. I am seeing little hope and she is bent on taking it all.

We've been separated for nearly a year and now there seems like no hope as she cannot make amends with anyone in and around me. She even Christened our baby without even telling me!

I wish I could understand why someone acts like this and destroy everyone's lives. I have little hope for a future like this.

Do not punish your kids for her mistakes and her stupidity. The 8 year old is old enough to voice his opinion and ask to see you, stay with you , etc. I am very tempted to move myself. I want a freah start and my HUsband is not showing any interest in seeing the kids.

HL, I'm sorry to hear about your blight. I cannot understand why a woman would keep her children from their father. It does a huge disservice to the children.

I don't endorse just disappearing, as tempting as that may be. Stay and fight it as hard as you can.

Also, your children will eventually reach an age where they can chose where to live. If you stay as involved as possible and fight for them, chances are better they'll want to have a relationship with you when they reach the age they can choose. That's a positive.

I know it would be a heavy burden if I couldn't see my children very often as they grew up. However, I look at my sibs and me and our relationship with our parents. Those first 15 years were important, but there's be another 20 years of relationship too. I am still their daughter. The children will still be your sons and daughters, unless you disappear completely.

Just keep giving yourself pep talks. "I can do this. I can survive this. I can surmount this." Sounds corny and hokey, but it worked for me.

Hi friend I can relate with you on your feelings, I have included some reading I hope it helps. Stay positive buddy, remember the ones who love you outweighs the ones who don't.

http://webits3.appstate.edu/apples/counsel/Suicide/readthis.htm

Fantastic website about suicide,so very helpful,thank you.

It is so very unfair what your ex is doing.
Is there a way you could get her to sit down and talk to a professional who will quickly inform her that what she is doing her children an injustice.
Most of us know it's wrong to put any of our bad feelings about our divorce onto children,after all they are the victims.
She needs to get this straight.
I would think of non hostile ways to get this message across to her....not coming from yourself but somebody who she will sit up and take notice of.

I understand you are very sad and feel without hope.
I have felt the same many times lately.
The other morning I woke up and decided why not stick around awhile and see what happens?
As if I would be watching my life unfold like a play,seeing there are many things at present that I have no control over as my ex's choices and thinking.All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and watch.
Anway that was days ago and I'm still here,feeling rotten but hanging in.

Why not stay around and let us know what happens next?

Love BrandyB

Husband...I'm so sorry for all that you're going through.

Did you go to court when she got the RO to plead your case against it? Unless you've done something horrible that would endanger the lives of your children, there's nothing she can do to keep you from them.

You can't be ordered to pay more than you can afford. She should receive half your marital assets so why would she get both houses?

I know it seems bleak now, but the courts understand the importance of both parents in children's lives. Make sure you have an attorney with a backbone...yes even snakes have a backbone...

I agree with jph. I am assuming you live in a community property state, which is why she MAY be entitled to half the marital assests. That's maybe. Women often get blind-sided in family court, especially in equitable diistribution states. They, or more accurately their lawyers, often ask for more than they are entitled to. Divorce lawyers do not always have their client's best interests at heart; many of them will deliberately take advantage of their client being upset and not thinking clearly to make demands and require conditions they know will never pass muster in court -- but it does run their fee up.

Some women get vindictive in a divorce proceeding and this very often gets them into big trouble with the family court judge. There is a judge in my county who you never, ever want to go before with demands and conditions he considers to be punative or vindictive. A family court is not a place for punishment. The petition for divorce is a seperate consideration from the seperation of marital assets and child custory issues and they are ajudicated seperately, using different law. This judge gets very angry if demands are way outside what in his judgement is reasonable and will usually "throw the book" at petitioner, giving them only the bare minimum allowed by law, especially if the petitioner's grounds for divorce are nothing more than "irreconcilible differences."

You need to be very, very careful when communicating with your STBX. Divorce lawyers almost alway use tactics to goad divorcing men into making serious and costly mistakes. They coach their clients in how to make this happen. For example, if there is going to be a custody battle, the wife will be coached in ways to enrage her husband, while she herself remains cool and calm. If she can get him to blow up in front of the children, all the better. There will almost always be witnesses to this, which is more often than not, calling the police and filing a complaint of domestic violence and having the abusive husband arrested and removed. So do not discuss the divorce with your wife. Rather, simply tell her to have her lawyer discuss whatever issue is on her mind with your lawyer. Under no circumstances should you have any discussions with her lawyer about anything. And do not argue with her about anything. If you feel yourself becoming angry, it's probably because you are being worked. Simply and calmly end the discussion and walk away. You do not need to give her a reason for doing this; just to it. Don't allow yourself to be used as a weapon against yourself.