I am a classic conflict avoider. Several of you saw my post of how I need to communicate with my H about his lack of response after receiving OS.

I met with a counselor at work today about how I've been avoiding conflict in my marriage the entire 9 years. The issues have gotten so big tha our marriage is in such a state of disrepair (like neglecting to maintain a house until the shutters are falling of and thepaint is peeling). tonight I plan on asking my H to join me in marriage counseling!! I guess I'm writing this in order to be held accountable so I don't back down and continue to avoid conflict (I need to get off this rollercoaster ride). I apologize I have to type and run but I have to pick up my daughter's soon. I will update tomorrow. Thanks.

P - I just want to say good for you!!! That is a big step and I am proud of you!

I too am a conflict avoider. I equate it to being an ostrich with my head in the sand!!

Look forward to updates and way to go!!!

good for you!

I am exhausted!!!

My H and I talked for three hours straight last night. Touching on too many topics to even write down.

At first my heart was beating out fo my chest b/c I was so nervous to even approach him. At first he didn't really agree that counseling is what we needed. He said he didn't feel comfortable about talking to someone else about our problems. I replied that we're not doing that great of a job on our own. After diving into several issues and at least putting ideas on the table we at least opened the doors of communication. Hoever, he is still not sure he would be willing to go to counseling. The last thing I said to him was that I was planning on going to a counselor anyway and I hope that he would come too. Next step. Set up a counseling session and pray that he would be willing to try it. Thank you all for your support!!

If all else fails... take baby steps. You've at least opened the door and shown him what's inside.

Good for you!!!

i'm so proud of you. i wish i would of done the stuff you are doing now. you should be very proud of yourself too. now get that appt set up!! and keep posting, i am praying for you.

Thanks FL-

I am thankful I haven't experienced the pain most others have who come to this board. This is an awesome site to get support and feedback. I knew that if I didn't post what I was planning on doing I would fall right back into the same avoidance pattern and perhaps reemerge in the same situation as many here (easily as the BS or WS). Thanks:)