I am about to go to trial with my wife to fight over 2 homes, support and maintenance. I have been living with my mother rent free almost a year because I am still supporting my family's household. W does not work and we have 3 kids. Most of my check (83%) goes to her to keep the house until we settle in September.

My question is: Would it help me if I secured a paying apartment to offset any future award to her? If I'm paying rent, I supppose the judge would have to consider that? Opinions please as I don't have a minute to call my attorney. Thank you.

HL, this is a question only your local attorneys could answer. You would be foolish to act on any advice you got here because division of goods varies state to state and the attitude of the courts can vary county to county within a state.

Call your attorney.

HL,

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with your sitch.

I would definitely recommend getting yourself an apartment. The court does not intend for you to become homeless. Also, this would show the court that you are trying to provide a home for your children during your parenting time.

Whether you are the primary placement parent or not, your children need a safe secure place to bed down at night.

[color:"brown"] All of the state child support calculators are based solely on income - not outgoing. The judge will not care about your expenses.

You will, however probably get a reduction because support for 3 kids is generally 20-25% of your net after FICA and SS. If you end up with alimony, that may only be temporary if you can show that she has the capacity to work. eg. a college degree, or skills, or two hands and two legs. You can also try to impute income - she is capable of making at least minimum wage - CS should be calculated with her "income" included since she is "capable" of working.

Depending on the state you live in, you should get half the assets too. There may be some adjustment if the children are living with her. Why you didn't stay with your kids, I don't know - but if you had, you could have shared custody and paid much less in support.

My advice - stop sending her money. Put the money in the bank to pay back support, but make her get it ordered. Let her go out and get a job fer cryin out loud.

(Can you tell I really dislike women that bleed their men dry in a divorce?)

V. (self supporting) [/color]

[color:"brown"]I guarantee that the court will not care. They set limits for amounts paid out at $500 a month is the minimum in my state for what is left for dad to live on. The court cares about the "best interest of the child". That means that dad has to pay support, not that dad should live in his own apartment. They will not care if dad is comfortable or not because they only care for the "best interest of the child".

V.[/color]

Here in Pennsylvania they figure what each earns and if the wife doesn't work they figure her at minimum wage earnings and then they have a special table they use to figure percentages and such. It's nothing you can predict..every case is different. I do agree though that you should give her only money needed to keep a roof over your childrens head until legal proceedings tell you exactly what you are entitled to pay. The children shouldn't be punished because of the parents in any of the divorce cases. But you shouldn't pay for added expenses that help out the wife...say...cigarettes or essentials for her...just strickly what the children need. You may have to sell the home and split the profit if there is any...but there again..that's something only attorneys should advise you on...Take the time to call your attorney and sit down and come up with a plan. Don't take advise from those of us who really don't know the law where you live.

Good luck and keep us posted

Alluring

Thanks for the replies everyone.

We live in NY which is an equitable distribution state. My wife has worked as a bookkeeper for many years and has an associates degree. She only stopped working 1 1/2 years ago.

FYI-I was ordered out of my home last September based on a lousy argument. Yes, she lied to the court to get me out.

Anyway, I was paying the bills to avoid foreclosure until the court ordered me to pay her support and maintenance while the proceedings took place.

Now we're coming to the end. I have offered her the marital home and the home business, while I take the 2-family home. She claims she needs the two-family, along with the marital home for future income. She wants to dump the business on me even though it's based out of the marital home and I have no place to take it. She claims to have cash to buy me out of both homes but I know she doesn't have it and I won't accept nothing but a refinance for both of us. The judge should see it that way, as well.

She's really grabbing at straws and I'd like to see her sell the place because she is constantly bragging about this divorce and how it's gonna hurt me. Meanwhile, my 3 little children are the one's suffering. They hardly see me as well because she plays games with them, as well. And yes, we've been to family court and she has sole custody. We will be going back after the divorce is settled, unfortunately.

There is little money left over for conveniences. She was better off when I was voluntarily paying the bills because the court did not give her every penny of what she cried for. Keeping my fingers crossed.

HusbandLost