I guess the best place for me to start is in the beginning. Me and my husband have been together for 4 and a half years and have been married for 2 and a half. We have a 4 month old baby. My husband started a new job about a year and a half ago where he met a freind ( girl). She was in a bed accident at work, which left her almost disabled. When I was pregnant I met her and became friends with her. She came to my delivery room to meet the new one. And when she was in the hospital, I would go with my husband to visit. We gave her money that we had been saving for a vacation to try and help. Having all that said you probably know that she means alot to my husband, and did to me also. They had become good friends. Two week before mothers day, he went to her house to visit. She was going through withdrawls because her medication had not come in yet. He was there to comfort her. When he came home, he had told me of her problem and I told him that I was glad he could be there for her. One week before mothers day, he came to me and told me that he had laid down on the couch with her to comfort her and that he thought that he had crossed a line. I told him yes. The next day, I just wanted to forget about the problem and move on. On mothers day, he came to me with the whole truth. He explained to me that for 2 years he thought that I did not love him, and that he found what he was looking for in her (his emotional needs). He told me of how they both were feeling the same way about each other and they had for about 1 year. He told me of how he thought that I would have been relieved to hear that, that I would have a reason to leave. He now knows how wrong he was. I have tried being friends with her and to let them still be friends, but obviously found that too painful. Yet he continued to talk to her or text her while me and our daughter would come to visit. She has called my house and called me, telling me that she cares about me and my daughter and wants our marriage to work. But she knows that her friendship with my husband is the reason why we cant be together. He continues to talk to her about our problems and that I do not like. He has messed up quite bad when he stayed the night over there. Nothing happened between them, this I know. But he knows how wrong he was for doing that. On a night that I was there for a visit, she called the house, knowing that I would be there and left a message for him on the machine. I cried alot and told him that the least he could do is have no contact with her while I was around. He sometimes slips. My husband used to go to church and want to help people become good christains, but now says he is ashamed to go. I keep trying to tell him that God has not left him, that he is just waiting for him to come back. My husband is struggling right now because he knows what the right thing to do is. We still have much love for each other and miss each other dearly. Neither wants our family torn apart. He does not want to lose his friendship with her, but I told him that even his friendship with her and her family would ad does causes too much pain for me to handle. I told him that every mothers day, even ten years down the road, I would always remember what happened. Mothers Day was the day my life fell apart. He knows that I cannot come home untill he breaks of all ties to her. I need advice to what to tell him. I have read all articles that apply and have been reading them to him when I can. He is very interested in what Dr. Harley has to say and does pay good attention to what is being said. The articles have helped us understand us and me and why things happened and an understandment has helped relieve some things, but now I need help in helping him break off his ties with her. He knows it will be difficult. I need help in this situation. I dont know what to do any more. I ahve been trying to explain to him that our daughter will on eday grow up and want answers. I wonder if he could tell her the truth. I need help Please. I want my husband and my family back more than anything!
Well I was extremly close to ending my marriage this weekend. As it seems to have been going no where. Untill I went to church. I had been praying for an answer on what i needed to do. begging for him to tell me something. I was going to tell him that night that I give up. The preacher preached on all the things paul endured and how he never quit. He said wether it be smoking or your marriage or whatever the case may be, never give up, dont quit yet. There were some comments made that I knew were meant for him. I just have been praying the whole time that he was paying attention. He said that if you just do the right thing, God will help you through it. It gave me a renewed spirit, atleast enough to last me untill next Sunday.
Last edited by sisemore; 08/09/05 08:58 AM.
