Hello. I am surprised that my husband would like me to gain weight. Im not sure how to put this so here goes...most people would love to be my size. I have a model figure. I get compliments and hit on all the time and his friends are so jealous of him.

I didnt like how I looked (low self esteem) but now Ive learned to like how I look now and I am happy with myself. In HS I had a little more weight on me(like 10 pounds)and I think I look better now . I do not have an eating disorder, so that is not why Im resisting this a little.

I really dont like the idea of gaining weight cause Im afraid it will just go to my stomach and that wont be good. I have a high metabolism too so I think it will be hard for me to gain.

Im feeling a little down about my looks now.. I thought he meant he wanted me to have a bigger chest but thats not what he meant.

I also thought maybe he was jealous or insecure cause of people giving me compliments but then he said hed like me to dress up more etc.

Any suggestions? Im really afraid Ill gain it and look like crap and be hard to lose.

Thanks for your help.

If there isn't a medical reason to gain weight, then I think you have to go with your own feelings. It is not a reasonable expectation that in order to meet an EN, you have to compromise your own health.

However, it wouldn't hurt to have some medical backing and just make sure. Perhaps your H really thinks it is a health issue, and i fyou talked to a doctor you could assuage his unspoken fear.

That is a good idea. Go to someone who knows. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I talked with him more about it tonight and he said he was sorry he told me and he doesnt want me to feel bad and quit going on about it. haha He htinks it wouldnt hurt me though. I asked if he wanted bigger chest or hips or something and he said no just overall.

Ill just see what doc syas and do what I can. Im sure he wil be fine if its not wise or nessacery for me to gain weight.

Two thoughts come to mind:
1) Many models today do have an eating disorder.
2) Does he have reason to worry when his "friends" hit on you?

Fbwidow- I do not have an eating disorder but I do tend to eat healthy ie. no pop/ much junk food. I would feel Id be ruining my health to gain weight.

His friends do not hit on me, strangers do. His friends tell HIM not me how Im so hot, he lucked out, etc. I get a lot of compliments from men AND women. Whether its my eyes, an outfit, hair etc.

I get hit on by moslty men, only once or twice female. I actually feel uncomfortable with people doing this so I just treat them nicely and dont aknowlege that they are hitting on me. I play innocent and Ill mentioned something like oh my husband likes that or Ill even lie that my husband is similiar just to throw him in there. I dont know of a good way to handle this really. Any ideas?

VelvetA,

You are doing just fine with both your weight and the way you respond to those who hit on you. Try not to let your husband's comment/subtle request that you could gain weight get to you.

In fact, I think you should take it as a compliment. He thinks even with you gaining some wieght that you will be the ideal "hot wife" for him, although I'm sure that he loves you just the way you are, and would be happy if you didn't gain a pound. Don't read too much into it, unless you are sensing other motives from him that are bothering you.

Just an FYI. My wife's weight has fluctuated from very thin to a little heavy, and I must say, my desire for does not wane for her throughout.

PJ