Hello. I am surprised that my husband would like me to gain weight. Im not sure how to put this so here goes...most people would love to be my size. I have a model figure. I get compliments and hit on all the time and his friends are so jealous of him.

I didnt like how I looked (low self esteem) but now Ive learned to like how I look now and I am happy with myself. In HS I had a little more weight on me(like 10 pounds)and I think I look better now . I do not have an eating disorder, so that is not why Im resisting this a little.

I really dont like the idea of gaining weight cause Im afraid it will just go to my stomach and that wont be good. I have a high metabolism too so I think it will be hard for me to gain.

Im feeling a little down about my looks now.. I thought he meant he wanted me to have a bigger chest but thats not what he meant.

I also thought maybe he was jealous or insecure cause of people giving me compliments but then he said hed like me to dress up more etc.

Any suggestions? Im really afraid Ill gain it and look like crap and be hard to lose.

Thanks for your help.

Velvet,

Funny, you could be me. I'm generally very thin with no eating disorder and certainly no problems in the self-esteem department about my looks. Except for those bad hair days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I would get comments about my weight - they were made with absolutely no malice intended. Phil would say I needed to lose weight to be more competitive (runner), later he would say I would look nicer with more weight. He was just talking and meant nothing by those comments at all. (During my pregnancy, I did gain some but alas, no improvements to my chest! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

Without knowing any particulars about your height, weight, muscle mass, bone structure ratios, or how the subject even came up in the first place, I will give you this hard won bit of advice. Try and forget about it. Fat, thin, small boobs, big boobs, freckles, no freckles -- if you are healthy physically and emotionally that is what matters.

Continue being happy with yourself as you are, as if he never said anything!

Another bit of advice (woman to woman) is to keep your body toned. Instead of "trying" to gain weight, just stay active (so you participate in any sports?) and keep the muscles toned up a bit. It's no lose, your body stays healthy, looks great and you feel great from endorphins.

Good luck,
Sally

I also posted this on a different thread. I got a lot of suggestions, even one had maybe he had a fetish to fatten me up..that I highly doubt. Anyway, its good to hear from someone like me and it seems so simple. Perhaps I was making it too complex.

He did just bring it up and I dwelled on it and talked about it some more tonight (he said he was sorry he mentioned it, cause I kept saying how to get bigger and that I shouldnt worry to much about hurrying up to get bigger)

Maybe it is just passing commet and I shouldnt obsess about it. Attraction is high on his list so..

I am thin and thought maybe I should see a doctor to see if Im at a healthly weight or not. Im 5 ft 8 and 125 pounds by way.

Wont exercising make me burn calories? I get some exercise like dancing but thought maybe I should lift weights?

Thanks for your help.

Velvet,

Any time. IMH(non professional)O, 5'8" 125lb seems normal - slender sure, but certainly not underweight.

Here's a simple skinny girl test <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> When you walk down the street, do strangers come after you and give you food? When I've dipped too low, that's what happens to me! I figure hey - free food!

You sound like you're obsessing a bit, but that happens. H said he was sorry he mentioned it - He means it. And he probably means please don't obsess about this because I really didn't mean anything by it...

So let it go. He probably feels like an idiot. He can't take it back but you can forget about it. It's one of those dumb things that can really fester, but it doesn't have to.

As for exercise. I just think it's good to feel healthy and good. I love adrenalin and what running does for me -- you find something that suits your style - dancing is highly athletic and fun! Enjoy yourself whatever you choose. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Cheers!
Sally

Another guy on another thread suggested I try nutritional drinks, what his doc told him. How did you gain weight?

Ill go to doctor sometime and see what they say, but I wonder if I wore a corset if my stomach would stay small but the rest wouldnt. That be good. Cause in my fmaily people are thin but any weight goes to stomach and Im afraid I will be the same way. Of course I will have to eat MORE smaller meals b/c of the corset. I have two corsets.

I shouldnt worry to much about it now but I figured I could get advice while my post is going in case I do decide to try to gain weight.

Thanks for your help.

Velvet,

This is shared with humor and care because I sense you are earnestly gathering opinions to help you with your decision-making, also not unlike myself, BUT... Whoa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You're thinking about wearing a corset so you can gain weight but keep your tummy down?? OK, Now you're definitely obsessing!

You are spending WAAAAY too much energy on this little mistaken remark your H made. Already you are giving this a "problem" status and importance in your life that isn't warranted. Likely, this line of thinking will cause stress for you, your body and your marriage.

I was relieved to read that you think, "I shouldnt worry to much about it now." You are right! You're healthy, within normal weight parameters and young. Over time your body will change and shift and change some more from age, lifestyle, exercise, pregnancy and so on... You are just fine as you are now!

In answer to your question about how do I gain weight - I don't do anything special. When I think I am too low, I try to monitor what I am eating and when and how much energy I am expending - and adjust by eating more until I am satisfied my weight is stable and healthy for me.

Hopefully my personal data points will help calm the thought spinning - I'm 37 years old, 5 feet tall, and am happy averaging 95lbs that is a BMI of around 18. If I dip lower AND I don't feel happy and healthy, I make an effort to eat more. If I feel normal, my body returns to average with no purposeful change in habits.

I'm athletic and by all accounts, VERY healthy. All blood-work from this year's physical is excellent, my bones are so darn good that when I accidentally broke a couple, the orthopedic surgeon studying my films couldn't believe I wasn't ten years younger.

I expect that most people would be alarmed by my weekly ice cream intake, but I really like ice cream. For me, my weight, dietary habits and exercise habits are healthy. Yet, according to the following standards, I am considered underweight:

1. Medical Recommendation[color:"#f7f7f7"]------[/color]97 – 128lbs
2. People's Choice Ideal Weight[color:"#f7f7f7"]--[/color]99lbs
3. NIH Clinical Guidelines[color:"#f7f7f7"]---------[/color]104lbs (small frame)
4. Metropolitan Life Table[color:"#f7f7f7"]--------[/color]107 – 118lbs (small frame)
5. Dr. Robinson IBW Formula[color:"#f7f7f7"]-----[/color]108lbs

You already said you like the way you look now. PLEASE, please (trust a total stranger who doesn't know you) and believe me when I say - Let this thing go. It's not even worth the time you've already given.

Warmly,
Sally

I got some good ideas from differnet threads that I COULD use. But for now, Ill store in the back of my mind and NOT focus on it until I see how things are in a month or so. Also how I feel about it, not him. Your advice is much simpler and something I need to do and I think it is best for me at the moment.
Thanks!

From a medical perspective, 125 lbs at 5' 8" is indeed a bit too thin for a woman. 135 would be closer to normal for a woman of your height. Contrary to what you may think, the the anorexic body image the fashion magazines currently are promoting is generally not appealing to most men. We really do like women who are of a proportional height and weight.