My husband walked in the door last Sunday and told me that he wanted a divorce. Completely out of left field. Never seen it coming. Been married almost 6 yrs. 4 kids-2 mine, 2 ours. He says that he doesn't love me and doesn't think that he ever has. I honestly don't believe that and think that he thinks if he hurts me it will make for a quick split. I have explained to him that I love him and that I refuse to give up on our marriage. It's been five days, we are both still in the house. He seems angry at me because I have a peace about what will come. I have put it in God's hands. I am only concentrating on being a better mother and a better person. I keep trying to talk to him (without smothering) to no avail. For the past 3 nights he has -at my request without begging-slept in the same bed throughout the night. His usual place to sleep is the couch because (at least what he told me) of back problems. I feel that if he was trying to pacify me that he would get up in the middle of the night and go to the couch. But he still will not talk to me.

Take this over to teh GQ (general Questions) forum. Those guys have much more experience with addressing issues much like this, and a lot more people view that forum.

They're in a much better place to help you.

Good luck.

I will say that it does seem symptomatic of a possible affair, either starting, or in progress.

You way want to check into that. (Cell phone records, email, stuff like that). But check on GQ first.

Can you tell me how to do that Jaye?

I'm not sure what you're asking me to do. Repost the initial question over on the General Questions forum (look at the "Main Index" link to find it.). The GQ people deal with this kind of thing regularly and can offer more specific advice.

Just start a new thread in GQ and cut/paste the info, or re-type it.

If you're asking me how to check for an affair, well, you could hire somebody, you could check the cell phone bill, check work, look through his email, see wha tsites he's visiting on the Internet, etc.

Be more specific, perhaps I can be more helpful.