SS,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply!

What I meant by "kids can be so mean" has to do with our middle school. In particular on the school bus.

My older son had the same problem last year with 3 boys, we intervened with one boy and helped him with his confidence to handle the other 2.

He's had practically no problems this year. None that he doesn't feel he can't handle on his own. He also has a good relationship with his teachers from last year so he knows he can count on them for support.

My husband dealt with the biggest problem boy on the bus. This may not be the end of the trouble, but hopefully it will buy some time for my younger son to gain a comfort level with this new school and develop better confidence skills.

I love the story about the smaller guy putting the larger kid in a head lock. I've heard great things about wrestling skills. I think my YS will learn a little about it in PE this year.

I'll look up Camp Alexander on the internet. The reason we chose it this year is that it has a lake which is different than being in the high desert camp that we've been to for the last 6 years.

Catalina Island sounds marvelous. I think one of the larger troops here went there this past summer.

My husband is an asst. scoutmaster for the boys troop. I'll probably pick a school committee to help with instead of scouts. I am thinking of going on the Sept backpack trip however! It's not one of the more strenuous ones.

Have you ever taken a group to the Grand Canyon?

We live close to the Grand Canyon - and our scouts have done rafting trips, caving, bike rides and camping in the GC. We go to places that most people do not. I am on the north side of the river, and it is more remote and less traveled with some places requiring 80 miles of travel on dirt roads with no services - no campgrounds. We like it like that. So yes, but not to places most people have ever heard of. Oh, and we have done Havisupi too - which is a great hike.

I hear you about the mountain lakes. Durango was nice because we could drive 45 minutes and be fishing. The other year I was there (for summer camp) we did our own camp/hike in the mountains there, and the fishing was wonderful.

Have fun on your hike this fall.

The nice thing about where we live is that we have access to so many different climate models. Mountains for cool in the summer, or snow in the winter. Desert lakes for summer water fun, or desert in winter for warmer winter hikes with no snow. (You have that too.) Many areas with little travel so we can get out by our selves to enjoy the country.

Shoot, I talk to much about the outdoors - I like it, can you tell?

I still ought to do a small post about our vacation, since I said I would. It was mostly outdoors.

My daughters were commenting about the school bus last night. It's not really bad, and it helps with their coping skills, but we always with it was better. It seems like there is getting to be more and more for them to learn to cope with.

SS

Whew SS,

It took me so long to find this thread...that I've run out of time to tell my newest story!

I'll be back - but at least it's bumped up temporarily!!

And you are doing well? At least we hope.

I have one for you too, was going to try to do it Monday, or Tues - with photos

We'll see........

SS

This is the first time I have seen this thread and can't read it all tonight but it made me smile, this much that I have read.

I am so jealous of where you live SS and your lifestyle. It's amazing really.

Csue, you and SS are two of the most gentle, and most beautiful people on this board in my opinion, just so you know...and I am so thankful to have "met" you both.

Weaver,

It is TRULY my blessing to know YOU!

Ok,

I'd better spit this story out while I still can!

I misspoke earlier SS when I said this was a new story. It's not a new story - what WAS new at the moment I posted about wanting to write it was a small trigger.

Triggers at my stage of recovery are at worst mostly "interesting" - because what I have found is that triggers are all about me! Thank God SOMETHING is all about me! lol!

Ok, back to the story - hopefully I won't allow myself too many side tracks.

So the trigger yesterday was H and OS driving off heading on a BS backpack trip.

To give you some background - my H has backpacked this area for the past 30 years. He's very experienced, and very well equipped. In addition, he's safety cautious to a fault and never "pushes it" to extremes.

At least once every year he has always gone on an extended backpack trip with one or more of a select group of friends. I used to worry when we first met that something would/could happen becuase they would always climb the 14,000 ft peaks.

And sometimes something minor would happen, but he and his group had experience, equipment and good judgment in their favor. So after so many years of him coming home within the hour he said he would on the exact day he said - I quit worrying. It was pretty remarkable to me that with the usual events of that type of wilderness experience he could ALWAYS show up on time every time!

Until that is....2002. March 2002 was the month he told me about his affair. Since most of you weren't here when I first came to this site - I was one of the ones who was so very blindsided, I absolutely not only had NO clue - I didn't think it was even remotely possible in my marriage.

The shock was immense, along with all the other feelings that are so very extreme.

Although we eventually coached with SH, it didn't start out smoothly because SH is very exacting on what he expects of a WS, and my H wasn't measuring up. Not that he wasn't trying, but the recovery plan SH dictated was very strict in application.

So when it came time to go to our annual BS Camp in July, (4 months after d-day) we were not in a good place in recovery)

The devastation of the affair, the toll it took on me, was a real surprise to my H. He had this unrealistic expectation that since he ended his affair on his own and came forward to me with the truth about it that maybe it wouldn't be a big deal.

He was in shock himself. We were both in the kind of shock where it wasn't safe to drive cars at times. Each of us was so absent minded that we struggled to function, kind of like we lived our life on "safe-mode". We couldn't manage anything remotely taxing on our mental/emotional systems.

Ok, so back to the annual BS camp. We both went, and took both boys. Nice camp, and everything went as it should. The day of departure, they like to have the attendees packed and out no later than 9am. Our OS was enormously dissappointed that he didn't get to take a hike to an old abandoned mine that others had taken the day before.

For some reason we had driven up to camp in 2 cars - so H suggested that he and OS stay a little longer and go on the 1 hour hike to the abandoned mine. He really wanted me and YS to also take the hike, but I couldn't wait to get home!

So YS and I left at 9AM, and in my mind I was expecting with the drive home after 1 hour hiking each way that H and OS would be home around noon.

brb...

You can probably see where this is headed...

So, YS and I get home...whew it was nice to have a long bath, rest, drink lots of ice water, rest some more and unpack.

I was so caught up in all of that, I lost track of time. Then it hit me.....it was after 5pm - and no H & OS; no phone call either. H was always great about keeping me updated especially after d-day - he didn't want me to have any unnecessary anxiety wondering where he was.

I'd like to say that the reason I panicked is partly due to the mental/emotional stress of being in the midst of recovery - because I am not proud of the full blown panic.

Although I didn't truly panic at first becasue I thought, maybe they had car trouble; even though we had a Toyota truck that NEVER needed any repair work. It seemed far less likely to me that they were lost, because H always had map, compass, food, water etc - and this hike was within camp boundaries. What could possiblly go wrong?

There isn't phone service to this remote camp - so it took me about an hour to contact someone on a Sunday who could help. I ended up with the Park Ranger's cell phone. So I called him, fully expecting to hear that the parking lot was empty since that morning. Then I thought, YS and I could get into the car, backtrack and find where the Toyota had broken down, and all would be well.

The Park Ranger, wonderful man - took his cell phone down to the parking lot. I asked him if there was a Toyota truck still parked there, and was STUNNED to hear him answer YES!

That's when I knew something terrible had happened. It was now 6pm and H and OS should have hiked in and out by no later than 11:30 AM. That it was 6pm and the truck was still there....was unbelieveable. I told the park ranger that they needed to find them, and that I was coming back up there. I told him all of H's credentials, and why/how it was so unusual that he would not be back. (The poor park ranger!)

I struggled to think what could possibly be different about this trip from H's other trips. The differences were 1. He was the only adult. 2. He had my 10 year old son, and 3. (I don't know where this came from), but I thought - "there could have been a bear". (Strange, because this camp isn't known to have bear issues - but it's what came to mind)

The park ranger told me he would begin their well trained search and rescue procedures, and he would keep me posted.

Now is when I panicked. I managed to get ahold of our Cub Master, and she offered to drive us back up. I was compiling a list of all of H's backpack buddies, because I felt that if anyone could find them - those would be the guys.

I called my dad (daddies at any age are the safe place to panic) and told him what was going on. We have no family where we live, and I didn't want to take off for the search without letting someone know.

So I gathered some stuff and packed the car. Just as I pulled out of the driveway my cell phone rang. It was the park ranger. H and OS had just walked up. The park ranger had left a note on the Toyota saying to check in with him before driving off.

So H, found the park ranger as they implemented their search. He was sooooooooooo embarrassed!

They had gotten lost. He was so befuddled by the stress of our recovery efforts that he and OS had hiked out without a map. (Later he found his map in an unusual spot in his pack), and he had also forgotten his compass. By luck OS had just purchased a souvenir type compass, and thankfully it worked so they did have that....but they had gotten so lost that they had actually hiked out of the camp boundaries, and were WAY in the middle of nowhere.

They were heading in the wrong direction when they came across some hunters on horses with rifles leading a mule pack. The hunters told them if they turned around right then and headed as they directed, H and OS would get back before nightfall. H and OS had no provisions for any type of overnight experience. Which once again is unusual for my H. He has never in the past set out on a day hike without emergency provisions. They had run out of water and food during the time they were lost.

No water purifiers, so they drank out of the stream. OS had been scared, gotten banged up and bruised, but other than that and an ACTUAL bear siting!!! They were Ok. Funny story about the bear. H and OS were standing quietly resting when they heard rustling in the trees/leaves. The bear saw them first and was already running away from them by the time they saw him. So the joke now is "now they know what it looks like to see 'bear buns' running away!"

H was so relieved to have made it back safely, and so mad at himself for being uncharacteristically unprepared, and very very sorry because he knew I would be worried.

Very embarrassing for him to explain to the park ranger how a guy with his experience could let this happen.

The shock to both of us ended up helping us in our recovery from his affair. Put into perspective for us that no matter how difficult - as long as we were both willing, we would all be just fine.

They got home around 9pm. Sheesh!!! What an ordeal! OS did so well, even though he was worried H, never let on how worried he was, and as long as OS saw his dad was fine, he didn't panic.

Where it turns out they went wrong was, the family that had told him about the hike the day previously wasn't in as good of physical shape as H is. The hike that took the family 1 hour, only took H and OS 1/2 an hour. It was at that point that they took their wrong turn. H also said that was where his judgment was faulty, because he hiked an extra 1/2 hour before he realized he was lost. And that's when he did his equipment assessment and found that he didn't have a map.

So all's well that ends well. H got tremendous teasing from the other BS dads who had always relied on his years of experience and expertise. H always double checks that he has his safety equipment BEFORE he day hikes, and last year we bought him a GPS!!

So SS, if you're still awake....that's my new/old story!!

Still awake?
Gee whiz, I love your stories.

I'm glad everyone got out safe. I was almost afraid to read the ending except that I know H and Ds are still around.

My W doesn't worry about me when I'm out. I taught Wilderness Survival MB for years, and she figures I'll get home sometime, or I'll be dead. Either way, she won't have to worry about me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Except you gals love us, so you worry anyway.

I'll try to give you a post about our road rally. It may take a few days though.

SS

Well exactly SS!

That's why if you are ever 6+ hours late home from a wilderness trip she would be VERY surprised too!

I'll have to ask H about whether or not he ever taught Wilderness Survival MB!!! At least if he does now...he'd have a story to go with it!

So yes........I'll bet she would worry about you! Hmmmm...a road rally huh??? Very cool! I'll wait patiently!

I have been lost two times in the back country.

Once at 14 years of age - we got out the map, and found the trail.

Once at 17 years of age, we got out the map, and found the trail.

Have lost scouts only once. They were between the lead asst scoutmanster, and I (I who followed up the rear.) They took a turn into the trees to do who knows what, and it took me an hour to find them and get them back on the trail. We made them use the buddy system, and there were three of them together. The most wise of them suggested they wait for me to find them, and I did.

We teach, teach, and teach some more, but sometimes they still get away from us.

I have never had a boy under my care injured, and feel blessed, but have had some close calls.

It looks like I won't get the road rally done for you before I leave. (It was for venture scouts - the older boys.)

Here's part of it though - the car show
car show

And the mud pit challange.
Mud Pit

There were many more events - changing a tire, backing a trailer, eating hamburgers,(not for time, just for luhch.) Driving a course for safety to observe traffic rules, and trouble shooting engine problems.

It was two weeks ago saturday.

I'll be gone for 5 days or so, see you when I get back.

SS

Wow SS!

What fun!! I'll be they were well attended events!! The pictures are great! You had some neat cars there by the look of it!

Glad you found your boys so quickly. How safe they must have felt having confidence that you would find them... Whew!!! I am sure you reviewed some basics with them! Maps and compasses must be basic gear right?

My boys came back from the trip and OS was very proud. He was the only one to follow the coordinates (right word?) correctly the 1st time! He was so pleased because he did better than any of the "older" boys! I'm happy because he LEARNED something!! Just hope he remembers it!

I almost missed this because it was already at the bottom of page 2. No telling where it will be by the time you're back! Hope you have a wonderful time!