Cruz -

The past is past and cannot be redone, no matter how much you (or others) beat yourself up. You know you have made mistakes. I don't know if you are religious, but all I can do is offer an opinion from my experience. I believe that God forgives you and all he requires of you is to admit what you did was wrong and not do it again.

There are testimonies on this board of not only marriages being restored, but of people who made serious mistakes, hated themselves, saw no way out except "darkness," surrendered to and depended on God for recovery, and had their individual selves and lives restored. I am one of those people.

Things feel really awful right now, but things CAN get better, you CAN feel better, and you will. Hang on. Find out what your resources are (IC, family, friends, religious leaders, etc.) and turn to them for help and support.

God bless,

Rose

Exactly Caren. Thank you!

"For who here among you is without sin, let you be the first to cast a stone"

He's hurting and he loves his wife. He needs compasion not the finger of blame and contempt. How ever thinly disguised.

weaver if you really believe BS's are responsible for the WS's infidelity, that's sad. Everyone is responsible for their OWN behavior.

Cruz has only two choices here: wallow in pain & guilt or learn & grow. I was encouraging him to learn & grow.

It amazes me that often people throw scripture in the faces of others at their convenience without any understanding. When Jesus said "He who is without sin cast the first stone" it was because they were going to kill the adulterous woman. When the crowd walked away Jesus told her to go and sin no more. Was he being cruel? Was He being contemptuous? No. He was telling her like it is. You made a bad choice, don't go there again.

It's obvious that our opinions are so diametrically opposed that I'll not bother to respond to your posts and I assume that you'll feel comfortable in disregarding mine as well.

I don't believe that any one is responsible for the behavior of anyone elses except their own.

And that includes Cruz AND the BS's on this board. Cruz is a BS JPH.

You are the one who said "if they will do it with you, they will do it to you". Well where does that leave those who did not cheat with them but still get cheated on?

Where is the logic JPH, in that?

And you were the one throwing stones with the above pointless quote of yours.

Folks,

I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding here, so please stop and reread what Cruz has said here and in his past posts. Yup he was the WS in his first marriage with the woman that became his W in this marriage. Yes, he does regret what he did to his family, and he KNOWS he has paid a big price for his decisions. NOW he is paying an even bigger price and that his W is cheating on him and now wants to end the marriage.

I think it is fair to say he sees the "irony" of this situation, but what he doesn't see is a "future" for himself. Perhaps some guidance as Rose offered as well as others might help him deal with what is happening to him.

Any thoughts??

God Bless,

JL

Exactly JL. Cruz, please get some counseling for the sake of yourself and kids. You have a bright future and your children need you.

Cruz, please post...

GC

cruz,

I agree with graycloud. Please post. Please respond.

We all care about you. You are hurting and need help. We would all like to help you.

I have been where you are. Different circumstances, but there, nonetheless. I do understand.

Let's not all argue with each other here, please help cruz, he has a lot to deal with. Let's not quibble and make disrespectful judgements, let us focus on the issue at hand. Which is Cruz, who needs help.

cruz, I agree that it is too much too soon from your WS. Please try to step back from this and not give the farm away, so to speak, while you are still reeling from that message from your wife.

You are worthy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You have a purpose in this life. I believe you are being asked to step up to the plate now. Focus on your children, and be the best you can be. This is so hard for you, I understand that, but your children do need you, and you are their dad, God deemed this.

I am sorry for your pain, I pray for you and your children. Please find a counselor who can help. If you know someone who has had a wonderful counselor, go to them. That is the BEST reccomendation.

Healthy people seek help when they don't know what to do.

You are WORTHY, Cruz, valuable, and need to be there for your children.

God Bless, prayers too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

One of the last things I ever wanted was to start a thread that ended up with people arguing with each other over their differing views about my situation.

For those who never saw my early posts, I can assure you that the irony of my situation is not lost on me.

I am fully aware for every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year of my life the horror of what I did to my first wife and my two daugthers from that marriage.
I'm not going to waste time typing it all over again, so if you have time and interest look at some of my early posts.

The last 24 hours have been life changing for me. Particularly from about 5:00PM yesterday until 4:00AM this morning.

I am at work right now and don't have time to go into detail, but I plan to sit down tonight and write it all down.

Something happened yesterday evening that pulled me from the brink of suicide, and I want to share it with you.

Cruz,

So glad you are alright, Cruz you had us worried.

Cruz-

I can't wait to hear what happened that was so dramatic, and I am sorry that you were at a place where you though suicide was a valid option.....I understand that place all too well, and never want to be there again.

Don't worry about us arguing....families do that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> It's just a difference of opinions.

Please let us know how you are doing.

-Caren

Cruz -

Very glad and thankful you made it through the night. Thanks for checking in. Hope your day goes well.

Rose

Thank you Cruz for checking in. Sorry about my arguing on your thread.


I am sorry to you too JPH. Don't know what the heck is wrong with me lately.

Cruz, glad to hear you're safe.

GC

I am REALLY glad to hear that something pulled you from that brink...

Keep it...remember it...it will be a strength for you...

Hope to hear from you soon...

Scott