It has been a while since I posted, and I thought of something that I wanted to share.
An update on my sit:
WW lives with OM, he left her twice (once started to drive across country, went from NY to WI, than came back)
Seperation not final yet, WW signed papers, her lawyer is quite snail like. I can't wait to get his bill.
Twins are doing well, not sure why they are not asking about mommy and daddy more often, but they seem to be OK.
WW is being treated for MS, she developed symptoms 2 weeks ago, MRI show legions on brain.
I will be losing my job soon (well not soon, end of year)as the company I work for (dear old dad) was sold and liquidated.
I have a new girlfriend that actually seems to like me. It is quite refereshing.
My kids are growing up, they are smart, funny, beautifal and seem to love me very much.

OK, I am going to free write my thoughts, so bear with me.
I just saw fantastic 4. (quick story: 5 people get super powers, 4 good one bad)
Feeling pretty down.
Why can't I have super powers?
Why can't people look at me and think: "I want to have what he has"?
Ohhh, but wouldn't that be great?
To be able to escape and focus on my super powers.
Anything I can do?
Only thing I was ever good at was getting walked on.
Not true, I have compassion.
I can love.
Wouldn't it be great to feel good all the time?
I feel good when I am compassioniate.
I feel good when I feel love.
Do I have super powers?
Could I love and feel compassion towards everyone and everthing all the time?
Might be worth it.
Maybe I can be super!!!

Well, it made me feel good to think that by simply being compassionate and loving, I can have super powers.

It is so hard to hold my head up sometimes. I am not sure how I keep the tears in sometimes.

Well, I think I am going to go back to living. I have to go on living.

Glad to hear from you again. I'm sorry about your WW having MS. That is a terrible disease, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Sounds like you are moving along fairly well.

Hi cth:

It is good 2 hear from you again. Sort of a coincidence, I was looking up your last post yes2rday because I couldn't remember what happened 2 you. I apologize for my last post 2 you. I guess I was afraid I'd scared you off.

But I do think you should be careful about the new relationship while your WW's drama is still going on for you. And I mean that as said. Her drama is still going on for HER, for sure, because she's feeding it. But it's also going on for you because you're getting sucked in2 it 2 some degree, still, even though you're moving on from that relationship.

You're right on about your own super power, though. You're gaining that through the hard learning experience you're living through.

And nothing can take that away from you now. Use that compassion superbly!

-ol' 2long