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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420 |
He has total control of everything...even my paycheck is direct-deposited into an account I don't have access to...unreal. I would remedy this situation if you feel he is going to do anyting with your savings, which is not uncommon for WS. Protect yourself-- and fast.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36 |
Started doing that early this week....going to be a long and rocky road for us, but I am determined to get things in order for myself, which in turn will ACTUALLY get things in order for him, too. I'm just looking at liquid assets at this point, and the next step is to let a person he trusts advise him about HOW to set up things for BOTH of us. It's crazy...but I have my own checking account now, and paycheck is going there at the end of the month. Step 1....done! Step 2....next week.
Thanks for caring....
SAR2
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420 |
Good for you!! Take care and good luck. You will learn to be stronger and this will only help you in your M or your new life.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36 |
No doubt we HAVE to tackle his alcohol issues first...as soon as he will. That might take some time, if ever. In the meantime, I think I need to position myself for life (as you said) with OR without him. I see alcohol making everything worse, so until he decides to address the bottle, there's not much use spending time on the other things. However, that doesn't mean I need to sit around and let myself get drug down too. (For example, financial protection.) I am trying so hard to be strong this time, and not let him back in the house until the conditions in my "Semi-Plan B" letter are met. They may never be met, but I will be stronger no matter what. I just pray that I have the courage to face this new life experience...I pray he comes to his senses, and seeks help. I do think he's close to hitting the bottom.
SAR2
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 420 |
I am so proud of you. Enforce those boundaries. Yes, the alcoholism needs to be dealt with first. Continue to take care of yourself-- you are doing a great job!!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 36 |
Thanks again for the support. Don't actually know how great I'm doing...seems I have meltdowns about 3 times a day. He is in "lalaland" with his scotch, so I think the only way to get to him is through TIME away. (Which is the one thing that's hard for me to enforce.) I think a couple more weeks and the consequences may begin to dawn on him, but I'm not sure. We have had 2 e-mail communications in a week, both about finances, so it's going the way it should. I know it's a disease...whatever...but WHAT an IDIOT!!!!! Wife and kids who love you....or SCOTCH??????? Tough decision! hehehe
SAR2
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