Short history

H has A with other doctor who works for H. I work in the office as well as the accoutant.
I thought A was for 8 months turns out it is closer to 7 YEARS.

OW has A with brother in law for 6 months Aug 03 to Feb 04 gets rid of him and WH resumes A. I find out in Sept 04. Plan A from end of Oct 04 to Beg Feb 05. WH tells OW its over Feb 7th 05.

OW and WH work togerther everything seemed to go fine for about 3/4 months but as more contact is needed due to work I begin to see a difference from beg of July 05.

Now Aug 05 OW tells WH she is leaving I can see he is beside himself so put tape recorder in car to see what contact is made. Well it is like the start of an A all the I love yous I miss you the light of my life etc from both of them. She keeps asking him if he has told me she is leaving, its hurtful to her that he has not as she knows I am going to gloat. He says **** her let her wait til Monday when you are going to tell everyone.

I left posting on this board when WH told OW A was over to concentrate on M.

A lot of people told me to go to Plan B but although I used the excuse that WH beat me to the punch line by telling OW A was over and really I was scared of Plan B perhaps now in hindsight I shoud have.

A few facts big summer holiday booked to star Friday 12th Aug. Plans for extention to house made builder organised by WH. Plans for a big trip Jan 05 to WH bithplace reliving his youth. We have been doing all the positve things and he has been the perfect H.

Now I wonder WTF the last 6 months was about. He has been loving, caring, nice, comunicative etc but he was all those things when the A was going on for all those years and i never noticed. Dumb old me.

I read the boards all the time and get such wounderful help from all the posts. Just an update for anyone that remembers me.

I do belive that the full force of all the A feelings have come back and hit him right in the face. So does this mean that he never really returned to the M and was the last 6 months a charade?

Are you ready for plan B now?
Expose, expose, expose!!!!
At the same time plan B letter!
If you have done a good plan A he will shotly see what awaits him. Loneliness and dispair.
Show him you mean business.
If you do not crush this once and for all... well you know.
I know this is scary stuff. Just come here often if you need support.
Fortunately I did not need to go to plan B but I was willing and became strong enough to make the decision if I had to.
Good Luck!

DH,

Good to hear from you although the news does not seem to be too good.

Hopefully the experts will drop in to give you advice.

I think plan B is long overdue for you, but we've already had that conversation. Depends on you.

cc

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your pain. I don't know you but man all this crap really sucks the life right out. Take care, I hope you find the strength you need.

Ugh dying! I remember you hon, and I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through this bullcrap.

You sound very strong though hon, I wanted to point that out. Your spouse having an affair tends to have that effect on people, I'm much stronger than I was before also...if not alot more distrustful.

My H and I have filed for a dissolution that I don't want, but I'm at a loss as to what else to do.

I am trying to get another apartment and I'm going to move out and Plan B his butt and probably refuse to cooperate with the dissolution (Not sure on this point.....I may go along with it, I may not, I haven't decided.)

I don't have any good advice for you, just wanted to say that I do remember you, and I'm sorry that you are still going through this stuff.

-Caren