I guess it's really over? For those of you who know my story, I don't have to go into the whole thing here.

She hasn't tried to contact me at all. I heard she's moving to Denver in two weeks. She doesn't plan on coming back to the house for anything she's left behind. I suppose it's all thjings she doesn't care about anyway.

She still hasn't contacted me to resolve issues regarding the house, which we own together. I don't know if I should write to her again. I wrote 3 weeks ago trying to resolve our financial matters and for her to get her things. NO RESPONSE IN 3 WEEKS.

I've heard she's left her job, but walks away with a large sum of money. She and OM have already rented a house, and I heard he wants to get custody of his child, which might be around 20 months old I guess. Would they take this child from his mother who is in Az.?

I don't know what my next move is. My friends tell me not to make a move. If I let her go without resolving things, OM might talk her into fighting me for more money, not that she needs it.

This whole thing has torn me apart. I can't believe that just weeks ago we were making love on an island. I just don't get it. I suppose none of us do.

Any advice?

Stick with the plan, Joe. Contacting her will lead to nothing but grief. Stick with your Plan B and focus on detaching from her and building your life without her.

Mel, what about the house? Just let things be for now? By the way, thanks for the response.

Yes, just let it hang, Joe.

Joe, who can possibly understand a ws? a month and a half ago my H's ow was still with her stbxh and they were planning on buying land, a new home, and having a baby. 3 weeks ago she moved out telling him she didn't want the marriage anymore but that she wanted nothing to do with my H because she thinks he is scum. My H moved out 4 weeks ago because we agreed he couldn't be trusted so he should move out. He told me he wanted no relationship with ow, he was just using her for sf. well, they are back at it now that they have each moved out. so, like I said, who can possibly understand a ws? Their actions are irratic. Just take care of you and move on in a healthy manner. It is all you can do. mlhb

If you are in Arizona as well, you may want to get an appraisal on the house NOW, so that you have documentation of the value of the house at the time she left, so that she doesn't get any of the increase in value once she decides it's time to address issues such as the house. $300 to $450 well spent especially in the Phoenix area.

OK Mel, that's what everyone says. Why I can't see it I don't know. I'm nervous and scared, but I suppose it's best to let her make the move.

Could it be that she's still trying to hold on to me as a safety net? And how devestating will it be when she does push to finalize this?

wow, such quick responses I can't keep up. Thanks. No I don't live in AZ. I live in Ct. And the market seems to be slowing down here a bit.

No you can't possibly understand a WS. I've seen it and heard it all over this past year and a half. She actually begged me not to leave her. LOL

joe c:

I'm surprised that the OM believes he can get custody of his child by taking him out of state. I have a friend who lives in Phoenix and works in Tucson, commuting that whole way every day because his xW lives in Flagstaff and the courts wouldn't let him have visitation if he moved farther away. What a mess.

But that's his problem, not yours. I remember your posts from before. I'm sorry you're still dealing with this, but with Mel's help, you will thrive, I'm confident.

best,
-ol' 2long

I live outside of Denver. We've got enough cheatin' people here. WW: go back to CT! Is Colorado like a convenient halfway place between CT and AZ? Don't worry, she'll dry up like a prune in no time.

Just let things hang for now. I agree with getting an appraisal of your house, though. If housing prices drop, you can always use the depreciated figure in the end. Make a benchmark of all your assets at the point she leaves. That would be bank accounts, 401Ks and property. Protect yourself. Do you have kids? Maybe she'll owe you alimony!