Okay, I dont know how many replies i will get back or maybe its just me on this. My H has these two single friends that HATE me. They will do anything possible to make sure that I am unhappy and seem like the b**ch in the long run. Really when I come to think of it all of my H's friends are single. Its like they dont understand that he has a family that comes first. The one friend has tried to set him up w/ several different girls that I know of and my H has always told him no. Then the other friend who is in the military with him is just always calling us up and bugging us. I know its gotten on my H's nerves before b/c there have been times when he just says dont answer the phone. For ex. when my brother passed away and obviously i was upset his friends were calling him and asking him if they he could take them to the store and he goes no, my wife's brother just died and she needs me right now. When my H finally did cheat on me, i know ultimatly it was his decision to make the choice, he knew it was wrong but still did it anyways. The girl that he cheated on me w/ is from out of state. Still makes no right at all. I found out that this girl lives not to far from my H's friend in the army. I just dont know if these friends are a bad influence or what. He has plenty of other friends that are just so shocked that he even did this to me and then here are these two guys that i've heard say she'll never find out its alright to do it. Maybe i am just thinking this stuff up in my head but i dont want to choose he can and can not be friends with but i've told him I dont even want to bothered with them when you get back from Iraq. I dont want them in my house i dont think i could look at them. If i did i'd prolly deck them like i'd like to do to my H right now. Is it me or do these two guys just seem like a bad influence on him? We've been together 5yrs 2 kids married a 1 1/2 its just like they are jealous of what we have or something.

Friends are a tough situation. I know most of my H's friends, the ones who are any good, think very low of him for what he has done to me and our children. He is on the fire dept and the ow is on it too. she broke up her less than 6 month old marriage to f*** around with my H. They don't think too highly of her either. I am sure they still talk to them and stuff but as far as what their opinion is? well, they used to think highly of him but not anymore. Now, there are probably some guys on the fire dept who are just as sleazy as my H has turned out to be and they think it is all cool and stuff. I can pretty much guess which ones they are too. They all pretty much think ow is a piece of trash now and treat her like a piece of meat but she seems to like that kind of male attention. But friends tend to stick together I guess. His one good friend told me he doesn't condone at all what H is doing or has done and refuses to discuss it with him. But none of these so called good friends ever called me and told me what was going on either. Your H needs to be strong enough on his own not to be influenced by his friends. My H just doesn't care about anyone or anything anymore so he doesn't care what his friends think. mlhb

mlhb

thanks for your response. i feel the same way. right now he is over in iraq and alot of the married guys are very upset with him for what he has done but still they are talking to him and they talk to him and tell him that he was foolish for what he did. they are also mad bc some of them arent able to go home and see thier families for a 2wk r&r leave and he did and went a screwed around with this OW. From what i hear this OW is just like your H's. She has broken up other marriages and she's only 18! She isnt doing it to my M i wont let it. I love my H and he is learning that he almost lost one of the best things that has happened to him, his kids and me. He's told me and i've seen in emails hes sent that he wish he would have never of done anything. I am just hoping that he stands up to his friends the next time they say something about me or our M.

Yes, i think friends can be a bad influence. When we first got married all my husbands army friends were single. they always wanted him to go out with them and i was stuck sitting at home by myself. i didn't have many friends at our first duty station and everyone my H hung out with was single. they also thought i was a b**ch.

it caused stress on our marriage. when we got to our next duty station my H hung out with married guys so we did things together with other married couples. it made things a lot better between us.

Thats what i want to happen when he comes home. All of my H's single friends think i am the biggest b*tch. Like yours they wanted him to go out with them and screw his wife and children they were more important. My H just became a NCO but at that time he wasnt supposed to "look" out and make sure these guys' crap were pressed, cleaned, starched whatever. Whenever i told him no he couldnt go with his friends his friends would be like man your whipped and in reality no he wasnt he needed to spend more time w/ son and I. I've already let him know when he comes home more family time and getting more married friends so we can go out with other couples. Im glad that im not the only one in this situation!

Grown ups cannot be influenced unless they choose to be influenced. The friends we choose are a reflection of our own character and personality.