Sorry for the question...

Is it normal to obsess over the OP?

I mean...I won't even begin to tell you what I've done to try and find info on the OW.
I have even checked out her profile on MSN...

And IF it is normal, how do I stop, when does it end???

PA,

Yes, it's normal...I was so happy when it passed. Thank God I had impulse control, and didn't say or do anything I regretted.

One reason for the obsession is that it's easier to make the OP the bad guy therefore allowing you to temporarily escape looking at your husband or even more importantly your own self.

The sooner this obsession runs it's own course the better you'll be.

Pureangel, it's a natural response to want to find out all you can about someone who has victimized you so badly. It's all a part of recovery. I understand exactly how you feel. The OP *IS* one of the bad guys and we should learn as much as we can about her.

It is VERY normal to obsess over the OP...and it does fade with time and recovery.

I learned tons about the OM in my situation. About six or eight months into recovery, my wife jokingly asked how much I knew/remembered about OM during MC. She commented that she had already began forgetting a lot...contact info, stuff like that. But she also told our MC "but I'll bet that [Owl] remembers it"...and she was right. I still know his addy, phone #, where he works, etc...

The good thing is that as things get better in your M, as you work to recover, you'll worry less and less about the OP. AS LONG AS THEY REMAIN OUT OF THE PICTURE!!! But the minute they come back, that obsession and fear comes back in a flash.

I had to deal with that to a degree...in our case, it was an online EA, and OM suddenly turned back up online in the same game where it had all started, after a year's absence. However, it became very clear to me that my wife desire's NOTHING to do with him, and nicely enough it appears that he's stopped playing again in the last few weeks.

Just try to work on getting your M reconciled, and you'll find you worry less and less about OP as time goes on.

Ahhh...thank you!
I feel as though I know her better than FWH!!!