When does the overwhelming dreadful feeling of lonliness start to lessen? Before I met and married by H I loved being single , keeping busy with my friends, and activities. But now I am sad to say I have changed so much. I still keep busy, but I am just going through the motions and I feel extremely lonely and empty. I hate being like this, but I do not know hot to change the way I feel. I have 3 beautiful children, I have good family, & good friends, I have Jesus in my heart, and yet I still feel so extremely lonely. I do not even know how to put it into words. And night times are the worst by far.

SD, a big hole has opened in your life and loneliness is a part of it. You lived very intimately with someone and your life became integrated with his. Marriage is about codependancy and you became dependant on your husband's presence.

You will never again love being single in the way you did before you married. I read here and hear others claim that they do, but I think they are deluding themselves. Perhaps they are happier than they were in the last months of their troubled marriages, but they cannot return to the way life was before marriage. Marriage is a life altering event. So stop comparing your life now and your future with an unrecoverable past. Rather think of how you are going to build on what you now have for a happy future.

After my wife left, I was completely lost. I'd walk around the house and there was far more missing than books and furniture and such things. The place, didn't seem the same anymore. I ceased deriving comfort and joy from the home I loved so much. When leaving work in the evenings, I'd be filled with dread over having to go back to that empty house. I found myself wandering through the house, almost tip-toeing so that I wouldn't disturb the silence. It was as if someone had died. This is unexcapable and you have to go through it. Friends, family, children, and yes, even Jesus, can only do so much to distract you from the emptiness and loneliness. Remember, Jesus doesn't solve problems for us, but only give us the strength to solve them for ourselves.

Never forget: it does get better. How long does this take? It varies from person to person. One day, you wil notice that the sun is shining a bit brighter. You'll notice bird song, or that the smile on one of your children's face reminds you of that first smile. You'll know that you've turned the corner. Until then, turn that loneliness into something positive. Use this opportunity for honest introspection. Be patient with yourself and take each day as it comes. Don't worry about when things will get better, but focus on trying to make today better.

I too feel lost from time to time but actually after a year of being seperated I'm starting to enjoy being alone and looking forward to dating. It's so strange how time can change things. I'm trying to think positive and look for the good things in life through all of this ******. You will be just fine. You will find that being alone isn't so bad after all. I wish you the best.

Lonliness is a strange emotion to me....

I have traveled for business for the past 8 years, and although I would be alone for much of the time, I was rarely lonely. I guess it was because I was confident in my M, and was working hard to better our future together.

Now, I can be with many other people around me all the time, and I still feel so very lonely. I dread leaving town knowing that many lonely nights in hotel rooms await me on the road.

I know it will get better, and I have to feel the entirety of these emotions in order to heal properly...so I just accept my lot in life and push ahead.

I eager anticipate the day when I can honestly say I am no longer lonely.


TM

TM...I know exactly what you mean. I often feel very lonely in a crowded room surrounded by my friends or family. It is a strange thing. It's because our hearts are lonely! I look forward to the day when I don't feel that lonliness anymore. I know it's around the corner for all of us!

Thanks for the support and empathy. I appreciate it.

Stormy