Wife, daughter and I went to Indy for the weekend. We went to the Children's Museum and Zoo. We had a great time, with a few exceptions.

Saturday night we went to the pool, five minutes after getting in the water, my wife decides to get into the hottub. Trouble is, there's only one other person in the hottub. Yep it's a guy. Ok, I'm a little jealous right now, but I don't get why you would even consider leaving you husband and daughter to get into the hottub, especially when there is a guy in there alone. It's just odd.

Wife and I have a conversation on the way home about the decline of society and values. Which leads to conversation about right and wrong and decisions. I never mention the affair, but we're obviously talking about it. She says that she will never make any promises, because she's proved she can't keep them. I'm shocked and say to her, how can we stay married then? She says that we probably can't and that I will never let this go or get over it.

She says that she will talk to SH if I want her to, but that I would have to make the appointment for her. Easy enough to do, but I feel she should be the one to do this if she is serious about saving the marriage. She says that she can't make her heart feel something it doesn't.

Two weeks away from wife going back to work with the OM and here I am still in limbo. I feel like an idiot. What am I waiting for and why am I hanging on?

Today my wife said that I was getting better. What does that mean and what about her???? She went to IC one time and has canceled her other sessions. She really doesn't want to face any of this.

Well thanks for letting me ramble. I feel better.

GTO

grove, some things sound good but others sound very bad. I think that you need to get off the rollercoaster. I am two weeks away from answers or I am getting off the ride.

I think that you know why she quit the IC. She told you what the counselor said that benefited her but that was obviously a lie. If the IC supported her as she told you then she would still be going for the validation.

As to the conference with SH, make the appointment yourself. Do anything to get this set-up. This is very important. He might be able to talk some sense into her but at the very least, he can get some info from her in order to provide you with better advice.

I still think that you need to set boundaries and stick to them. You are too afraid that she will leave so you do not stick up for yourself. She sees that you have no resolve and she has no respect for you right now. Tell her to leave her job, initiate NC with the OM, admit the A or prove her innocence and show that she wants to recover. If not, then go immediately to Plan B or file for a D. I really think that you have no other options.

If you do not take a stand then you are dooming yourself to a life of unhappiness until your wife decides to leave. You only get ONE life so please think about how you are spending your time. These would be very reasonable boundaries and if she cannot do them then she is going to leave you anyway. Man, I am pulling for you and your M but there is only so much that one person can be expected to take.