Hubby is 99.99% the father of this child. Got results on Saturday. While Hubby and I were discussing it, the phone rang and we just let the answering machine get it. Then we heard HER voice. She was calling to talk to ME! After all this time of her cutting off communication except for texting hubby, she wants to call and talk to ME! You could hear the victory in her voice and the fact she was calling to rub the news in. Hubby called her back immeditately and told her to not call our house again, and that all further communication should be thru our attorney.
Today, I received a Congratulations on the new baby boy card with the following typed inside..."David IS hubby's first born son and ALWAYS will be".......the envelope had no return address and had my name spelled wrong. I can't prove that she sent it, but we are 99.99% sure it is from her.
I have always been so very nice to her and she is just being mean and nasty. No, this child did not come from an affair but a relationship before me...but I am dealing with an "other woman" who is not playing fair....and for what reason?! She has everything to gain. It wasn't until her last phone conversation with me, that things changed BUT she didn't know that until she called Saturday...She just confirmed what I had been saying and now this note just seals the deal. It makes me wonder whats next...
If she could only see SHE is the one who caused all of this.......the past and the future. Hubby's decision came from her actions.
We meet with the lawyer on Friday to get things rolling.....court date is the end of September.
The road ahead is long, but the first step is the hardest. I know that as long as hubby and I continue our love and commitment to each other, everything will be OK, our family will be OK.
I will continue to pray for this child.
Lara [color:"blue"] [/color]

We also got dna results last friday that show my husband is the father to a new baby girl. She is born as a result of an affair and her mom is being incredibly ugly and has been throughout the last 10months. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, we have 5 sons. His affair was pretty typical.

I have to tell you, it is different to be a stepmother to a child of a previous relationship, I met 2 of my sons when they were 7 & 5. My sons were 8 & 5. while their mom, my husbands x did not necessarily love me, it is a whole different dynamic than comes into play when the child's mother is someone who knows that she is an interluder into a relationship, who knows that a child will provide her w/18 years of financial support. the woman my husband had an affair with has a total of 4 children now. From 4 men. all of whom she receives support from.

I wish you well, and seeing an attorney is the best first step. We have already done so and despite having restraining orders in place, I still receive mail/calls from the woman. I pray that your husband's son will be raised by adults who can find a peaceful, civil way to come together for the innocent in this situation.

I pray the same for my husband's daughter. She and I share a kinship in this situation. It breaks my heart to think of her and I know if I hold her in my arms, I won't want to let her go to someone who despises what I represent to her

That is terrible that now the stalking starts and harassment.

I do not understand why she would say those things about her son being the first born... I would think she wants to hold some signifigance in your H life which HER SON does but big deal, its not like you are denying his existence and you should just be nice and say well of course he is... and then tell her too bad he did not get a chance to really know his dad for 8plus years due to her. That should make her feel like crap.

Kbaymama I know how you feel I get mailings and calls from the psycho xow even though there is a warrant out for her arrest for stalking me.

August 10th:
Well.....can you believe she called the house. Again for me! She left message saying she needed the name of hubby's lawyer. I was there when he called her and he told her lawyers name twice. I think it was just a ploy to talk to me. I called lawyers office right away and asked if I had any obligation to call her back or even tell her the name of our lawyer and he said no. In fact, since hubby told her not to call again, the lawyer should have called, NOT HER! I agreed. Lawyer said to do nothing.....me ignoring her is bugging her. She did not text message hubby. I have been nice and I won't give her power over me. I refuse to do so.
Hubby and I both went to see my therapist. And I truely believe it helps and gives us both a different perspective on the situation....as well as guidiance. We have had counsel from the therapist, our minister, and now the lawyer. We feel we are doing what is best for us and our family.

****
Went to see lawyer on Friday, August 12th...basically paid him $175 for him to tell my hubby to march his butt down to Child Support Enforcement (CSE) and take the offer they gave him....if what they quoted changed dramatically, come back to see him.
Left his office, and we called CSE and hubby went straight there........the offer was increased by only $20 so we took the deal. Its an OK amount, just one that will take some adjusting our lifestyle to....good thing is its split into two payments taken directly from Hubby check, so she can't ever say we didn't send it. She can't take hubby to court for 3 years for a re-evaluation. She can't get our income tax return money....yada yada yada...so it did pay to go to the lawyer being we know we are doing things the right way.
Saturday I received another "love" mail from this woman....this time it was a Sympathy Card with sticker letters writing the note of ITS GONNA BE ONE WILD RIDE. I hope now that hubby has signed and money is going to her starting on the 2nd she will leave ME alone! I think she's nuts. Everyone says its because she's jealous. Who really knows.
Went to therapist Tuesday and he says I am doing so well, that after next week he's gonna release me from his care...so that pretty good...and lets me know I am handling this really well.

Today, September 1st....
Well, the first CS payment comes out tomorrow. H took out a loan 2 weeks ago, so that we can adjust to this slowly without feeling the strain....H has been working all the overtime he can and I have been taking extra hours as well.
H told off his mother last week..... and I took my therapist's advice and this past Monday and I drove (over an hour to get to) up to Hubby's High School and looked up this woman in past yearbooks. I thought she was older than me, but it turns out we are the same age. This woman knows who I am (because of contact with his mother and pictures), I just had to know what she looked like (somewhat) so I could have some sort of idea, in case she came to where I worked....she is after all sending me mail....anythings possible. It was fun seeing pictures of H and letting me know that this woman holds not a candle to me.
The famous line my therapist uses with me is WHAT DOES IT MATTER or IT DOESN'T MATTER........I keep telling myself one of these every time I think of his past. And keep saying IT was all before me...it was all before me!! What matters is what he has done since he met me and onward.
I can say I am thankful for this test, only to have it brought us closer, proved our marriage was real and strong, proved we really do love each other, and brought us both closer to God. I keep wondering what the lesson is in this test from God....I guess we are still learning from it and it will be years before we SEE why....
We are keeping everything documented....with a timeline of events from when he dated her, met me, yada yada, and so on...because we know this little boy will one day contact H. And we want to show him these things and be able to tell him why H chose what he chose..and how he found out about him and that all decision were made and caused by his mother.

Thanks for "listening" to my up to date.......

How did you find out about this boy again?

OW can be so darn cruel, can't they??? Do OM act this vindictive when their "soul mate" tells them it's over? How many psycho OM do we really hear about? Not too many......

The OW in my situation is still sending out little tidbits of information, trying to convince my husband that their son just had his first birthday party a couple of weeks ago.

The problem with this? She never even got pregnant or had a baby from my husband, even though she tried to convince everyone otherwise. A year and a half after the affair ended, she's still at it.

Anyway, I'm so sorry that both of you are being emotionally abused by stupid OW who are sore losers. If they can't be happy, then you shouldn't be happy either. Poor things...my heart bleeds for them. Really.....

Oh, btw Cordelia...I didn't mean to forget to email you back, I've just been dealing with some heavy depression lately. Thankfully, the OW didn't give me any STD's, but she did give me PTSD and a nice case of early menopause. Yippee.

Sorry for my dry humor. I've been reading some of Pepperband's replies and I guess it rubbed off on me. LOL