Just over the weekend my wife agreed to work out our marriage. I went to my couseling session yesterday and my MC filled me in on what my wife had to say during there 1 on 1 meeting. The MC told me my wife just does not want to be married anymore. We got together at a young age and she feels like she needs to expierience being single. During my meeting my MC also told me that my wife has some major self esteem issues. That is why she likes being persued by other men right now. It is giving her a major ego boost. So whenever I get jealous or mad she feels like I am in the way.

After the counseling session I came back home to talk it over with the wife. She then told me while we were still together she wants to see other men....I told her that doesn't sound like us working it out. I then told her I would rather be seperated than to go through that ******.

Did I do the right thing? We have actually been trying to work out our marriage for about a year. I've been avoiding LB's and trying to be affectionate toward her but nothing has worked. My counselor told me that I cannot change how she feels and that she is totally unmotivated to do anything to save our marriage.

We are still living together till she can figure out our finances...How do I handle it when we are together? Should I still show her that I love her? or should one of us just get out? I really want this to work somehow but I am losing all hope.

Just a quick update...Told my wife she should leave ASAP and I put 2 rooms in my house for rent to help pay for expenses...My wife was deeply hurt by this and got very angry..She then wrote me the following email.

"I'm sorry for being angry earlier when you told me to move out. You really
hurt me by posting the rooms for rent without discussing it with me first.
But, I guess it's nothing compared to the pain you endured this past year.
I just want you to be happy and I don't see that happening as long as I am
the one causing your unhappiness. It's not fair to you that I can't be the
person you want me to be. And, you deserve so much more than what I'm
willing to give right now. I hate not being able to feel the same as you.
I wish I did. Going forward, I can honestly say that I don't intend to look
for what I felt was missing in our marriage. I know that our marriage was
never perfect but it's the best relationship I've ever known. I'm only
going to focus on myself and figure out how I can deal with everything. I
still love you and I always will. In time, I know we'll be able to accept
the outcome, learn from it, and move forward with our lives. I believe
we'll find true love and happiness in the end."


Should I reply back?

Possible reply

"The reason I asked you to move out is because you were not ready to commit to working on our marriage, and that is what you wanted anyway. Remember, I was willing to give you space and totally committed to giving you what you needed...You told me, space meant that you can go out and talk to other men and if you had the choice to take it further, you could. How could I forget such a thing? Remember don't ask don't tell. It hurts me to see you go but how could we ever work it out when you feel that way... I am sorry if it hurt you when I posted the rooms, that was not my intension. I just needed to prepare myself financially.... I love you with all my heart and would die for you...in a way I already am. The door is always open if you are ready to work it out."