I've read about "meeting women in the produce aisle" or "meeting men at Home Depot", but does it really work?

Women, if a "strange" guy approached you, chatted you up, made you smile or perhaps laugh, then asked you for your phone number or wanted to try to set up a lunch date, would you do it? Guys, have you had any success with this?

I posed this question to the two ladies I went out with last weekend.

The first I met through a chance encounter at a Park Concert. My daughter's best friend's mom knew her mom and introduced us. I asked her if I had just gone up and chatted with her, would she have gone out with me, and her answer was no. She would have blown me off.

The second I met through Match.com. She said that she was approached once at Walmart, but didn't consider going out with the guy until she found out that he coached her neice's softball team.

In both cases these women need a "connection" to reassure themselves that this guy is 'OK' to go out with. Do you find this to be true for yourself?

Is it more worthwhile for guys to work at 'networking' rather than perfecting the 'cold approach'?

I would say that networking is probably a safer bet for women. If i was approached by a stranger in a store, and he chatted and offered a phone number, I would assume he was just looking for sex.

cm

In most cases, no, it would not work with me.

In general, the guys who I've seen try this do one or both of two things:

1. They throw in some kind of inconsiderate behavior, often subtle, but to me very important in that setting

2. They fail to give any chance to differentiate themselves before moving to discussing future contact

In the case of #2, they get filed under "yet another random guy".

In the case of #1, they get filed under "dork who pestered me while I was trying to get groceries".

HA, most likely not me.

Some time ago, I was the one from the K-Mart parking lot that had a tall attractive guy say hello to me and I froze!!!

I have tried to take a tip and do my grocery shopping later in the day, supposedly when the "available" guys are also shopping. But, other than my K-Mart experience, this has not been an issue for me.

I probably would be like these women though. Wanting to know something about this person, to know that he was reputable.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the "grocery store" approach. Hey, it beats the bar! Same approach, no alcohol involved. You get to see the real person!!

Karona

These kinds of tactics are absurd to me. I cannot imagine going to the groceryand hitting on women. And I would have no interest in women who hang out at the Home Depot looking for men. Maybe this is because I only go to Lowes (don't shop at HD) when I need something and then I go in, buy it and leave. And I doubt that a woman who goes looking for men at HD aren't going to find me terribly interesting in the first place.

That isn't to say that I haven't chatted pleasantly with both men and women, while in the grocery, but I was there, duh!, buying food.

I've farmed this question around the office and the ladies are all rolling their eyes. Seems guys around here use this tactic quite a bit and the women aren't biting.

For me it would depend entirely upon the guy. How he spoke to me, what his manners were like, did he look me in the eye (as oppossed to elsewhere <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />), was he watching other women go by as we spoke. I might ask him if we knew anyone in common, from the same town, etc.

If I felt good about the above I'd have coffee with him in a public place or maybe start emailing or phone conversations. How is this meeting so different from an on line situation?

I have met many nice people in stores and public. To my surprise, not a single one of the women "blew me off" and, more often than not, I was given a phone number without having to ask.

One of my more memorable aquaintances before I was married was when I was buying auto parts. I saw a very attractive woman was having to buy new wiper blades and was at a total loss. I helped her choose the right ones, helped her install them, and then had dinner with one of the finest female Methodist ministers you could ever meet (she invited me). What was wrong with this?

I'm not quite as "open" as I used to be because I recognized that I had poor boundaries in this area.

Meeting women (or men) in these open settings requires that you be observant, honest, and sincere. Never really go with the intent to make dates, but be aware that you are always in contact with people...people that want to be appreciated. Everyone you meet has something special and interesting about them.

It's not about flattery...it's about seeing the best in people around you and finding ways to let them know that.

It's about putting your cynicism and sarcasm away and allowing yourself to be approached.

If a person is clearly uncomfortable or rude, simply excuse yourself and wish them a wonderful day!

Oh, and guys...it helps to keeps your eyes above her neck...

LowOrbit, maybe we should go shopping with you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I really like your statement that you have to be sincere and not just cruising for dating material. I can't imagine that there are many women who would be flattered by being hunted - pursued yes, hunted no. (help me out on this lone, ladies, if I'm wrong) You need to do this in all situations. It's really an extension of your admonition admonition keep the eyes above her neck isn't it?

Ok, I've been in the not dating category for quite awhile but I went to an ice cream shop recently and met a nice slightly older gentlemen, great sense of humor, shared some phone calls and emails. It really was a nice way to meet someone. Ok, great start BUT gentlemen, how can one jump from nice, talking about how we don't know how to date anymore, asked me out dancing, then on the dance floor, proceeded to put his hand on my ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> ahem, it ruined the whole conversation about dating! I ended the evening! Even in baseball, you have to Bat, hit 1st, 2nd AND 3rd Base before you go home!

I think I'll just keep working on my house! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />