aaha but Susan, your experience with that word is much different than Peps.

You were called that word by a manipulator pushing buttons.

Why on earth would you think you need someone louder than yourself?

This sounds like a question I was asking on the light bulb thread, doesn't it? About Personal Power....

She FEASTS life fully!

When I picked my sponsor >waving, remember me?< I picked one that had what I wanted.

I did not know if she could handle me, heck she was years younger than me and did not have some of my life experiences, she had certainly never had an A...

But, she was more than *able to handle me*. Handling me was primarily pointing out my stinkin thinkin!

Hey have you ever thought that once you find a meeting you are comfortable with, GOD may show you a sponsor?

So does this make a good SPONSOR for you or a good FRIEND?

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hey have you ever thought that once you find a meeting you are comfortable with, GOD may show you a sponsor?

*slaps* forehead

duh

... of course! This is it!

I am here shopping ... and it's going to be handled by God.

How disrespectful of God I can sometimes be.

LOL @ myself

idjut, now get thee to your meeting and I will too...and we have plenty of online support as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pep,

Sorry to intrude – this will be short.

You need a sponsor you will trust.

I went to Al-Anon meetings weekly for nine months without a sponsor. I didn’t really like anyone there in that capacity. As you yourself write, I wanted someone simultaneously compatible with me and larger than me, for the lack of a better word.

Then one of the guys came over to me at the end of a particularly difficult meeting and said, “You need a sponsor. I will do it.”

This guy was the last person in the room I would have chosen. He was way too different. Way too shy and quiet. Almost never spoke and never focused any attention on himself.

I’ve learned more from him in the past year than almost anyone else I know. I would trust him with my life now (but he says that’s not his job). And I am so early in this – I still know almost nothing.

God doesn’t give you what you want, he provides what you need. (Steps one, two and three – in order.)

With prayers,

PS: Pep, you could come to my Al-Anon meeting. You might indeed stand out quite a bit though – it’s an all men’s meeting, lol.

Thanks A-lion

this is illuminating!

Feasts life fully is actually a good quality.

But, lets get back to the real issue, and that is the fear hiding behind the arrogence that says "I am so bad and I am so difficult" that *I* need special help.

It is also, not your responsiblity to decide if a potential sponsor can "handle" the huge big job of you.

First of all, the sponsor's role is NOT to do the heavy lifting. That's your job.

Second of all, it is the sponsor's responsiblity to decide for herself if she can or wants to take you on. Where do you get off deciding it for her?

Do you see where I am going with this?

I love Apelion's response to you.

Yes .... back to my arrogance.

Sorry to intrude since the thread is addressed to SUSAN and BR..

However, as you know I am seeking out an AL-ANON meeting and I am wondering about this stuff...

If it is all helpful, PEP, isn't BR giving you the same feedback that you recently gave to me....

And LORDY this is what was the hardest for me. I wanted someone with more power than me because I wanted them to just "TELL ME"!

I would get so frustrated when she would help point out the object/issue and I had to lift.

It's not always easy and it's not always fun.

I see the arrogance ... or actually I smell and taste it ... but right now ... the "fear" you speak of is invisable to me.

Nah, not really poking at the arrogance.

Because I think it is fear that is the real issue with arrogance as a disguise.

Yup, I have a theory here too...

Please continue.

Susan

PEP:

I don't know if you are listening. This is exactly why I have wanted HELP from you so much and YOU have encouraged me to do my own LIFTING....

May I join in? you guys are speaking my language.

Pep:
Have you gone over common characteristics? Did you recognize that you were unable to set a boundary with the leadership feeling?

I do not like being visible either, thats one of my common characteristics.

Keep in mind I'm not an adult child of alcoholic, nor married to an alcoholic, but have addictive/compulsive personality....so maybe I'm not actually on track here. I will let the others let me know.