An ordinary guy came to see the Buddha to get help with his problems. ” my roof leaks, I don’t have enough money, my neighbors are noisy, my boss hates me, my kids are messy and disrespectful, my knee hurts and I’m losing my hair. And don’t even get me started about my wife. ” and he went on to describe all his problems in great detail while the buddha smiled and listened patiently.

When the guy was done complaining, he asked the Buddha, “so, how can you help me ?”

“I can’t help you”, said the Buddha.

“HUH? What kind of teacher are you?”, said the guy, “why did I come all the way here for you to tell me that? And what the ****** are you smiling about?”

The buddha said, “Everyone has 83 problems. Sometimes we fix one, but it is guaranteed that another will pop up in its place. It’s just life. I can’t help you with your 83 problems, but I can fix your 84th problem.”

“What is my 84th problem?”.

“Your 84th problem is that you don’t want to have any problems.”

This made me smile just a little,if problems could go away just like that.
How are you doing,i remember you replying to one of my posts.See i found out on x-mas too.
Things for me are going good.I still have my bad days.My H is working very hard to make up for what he has done.It is still taking time to forgive him.It did take another five months to get the whole truth.
Hope all is going well. I use to go by the name lastinglove but i stop comung here for a while and had to start with a new name.
Take care
#1mom

Numberonemom

Yeah I still have my days. My FWW has been great in our recovery...She does everything she can to help fix what she did. I am glad I made the decision to stay and work on our M.

The problem I have is that I lost the false security I felt about our M. I felt that even with our problems that we were somehome connected enough to get through anything. That is a feeling that is gone forever and I am not even going to try and get that back. I have decided to live my life day by day and just do the best I can as her husband and never loose sight of who I am and who she is. Life changes by a day to day, minute by minute basis and no one can ever promiss that they will be there or be in love with someone forever. Life is not forever, so I have just learned to enjoy life on a minute by minute basis.

I am glad to hear that you are doing well. I remember your story well since we had the same D-Day. I wonder if we were finding out at the same time of day. Mine was about 9:00 PM on Christmas day.

Just remember that happiness comes from within. We should never count on others or things to make us happy. As long as you are happy about yourself then everything else is just a bonus.

Good luck to you.

Hemidart,
I knew for sure around nine or so.See in the moring i had waited to see if i got a stuffed animal i found a reciept for.When i did'nt i asked my H about it he did'nt answer.I went all day really not talking.Later that night when the kids went to bed i asked again.He said oh its probally in the car.I left the roon went on the couch and cryed.After a while he came out layed beside and we probally did'nt say a word.I knew thro.The next day we hardly talked,that night i asked again and he told me.He did'nt expect me to cry either time.He thought i would just tell him to leave.
When he actully realized how i felt it hurt him really bad.See we had a hard time communicating,so we did'nt talk much of our feelings.He after a while thought he was'nt loves.Boy was he wrong.Which for me kind of makes things better,because he feels even worse knowing how miuch he has hurt me and for no reason.
Right away he did'nt want anything to do with this OW he found a new job after about three months.He even took his old job back.He is doing everything to make up for what he has done.I do hope i am able to forgive him on day.Its taking me longer because it took him five months to tell me it was P five times.It took OW calling.Yes OW H likes to call my house when ever he has a bad day.Or when he wants me to know more details.I changed my number.Now i dread getting mail from them.OW H wanted to kick my H butt.What he did'nt realize was his W was telling soob stories like my H beats me,my H cheats on me,we are going thru a D.This is how my H i think started questioning his own M.By listening to her and trying to be a friend.OH yeah she always told him she wanted to have sex with him and she would'nt tell.I quess after hearing it so many times he gave in.

See with my H he won't admitt it but i think he had a sex problem he liked his magazines he liked his websites.I was'nt one to get all into it.I think this is were the OW came in.She was so forward.He no longer goes online ans all his playboys are in abox in the laundry room.All his movies were thrown out.
sorry to go on and on.I am glad you stayed and gave your M a chance.Like us you have been together to long just to give up.
My H is planning different things to do this x-mas so we don't relate it with me finding out.Hope it works.
I still have anothert problem i have to deal with and thats his b-day.That was the day they slept together the first time.What would you do?

well i hope you have many great days to look forward to.I know its hard thinking it won't happen again.We just have to believe.Believe in ourselves and believe in the ones who betrayed us.

Thanks for listening,
#1mom

I made the decision to forgive my wife the day I truly wanted to move on. I knew I could not change the past...all I could do was learn from it and make my life better. Forgiving was my way of letting go of the past.

I understand the date they first had SF. Not only do I know the date, December 19th, 2003 but I also know every other date they had SF. See it is a little different in they only had SF on Fridays. I work till 5:00PM and she only works till 1:00PM. Her and the OM would only meet on Fridays. My wife did a good thing though and changed her shift so she now works that same hours as me. We also car pool everyday...so we are ether at our jobs or together.

Life is interesting.

What is it with holidays and infidelity?

My WW asked for a D on Thanksgiving of '04...Happy Thanksgiving!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


TM

"What is it with holidays and infidelity?

My WW asked for a D on Thanksgiving of '04...Happy Thanksgiving!"

Superbowl Sunday for me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Do you wish you did'nt know the dates?My H does'nt know them.He don't know how many times in her house how many times in he car.Either way it was five times.He says last time was in Nov to.I don't know how tho he did have school.He did get A's in all four classes.This is why he says all the sex happened in Nov come Dec he had way to much to do.They still talked on the phone in Dec.

We too are always together.Hes only gone when he is at work.I talk to him often and can go visit anytime.

#1mom

Yeah I wish I didn't know the dates.

I am an IT Manager and was doing some searches for emails in a old employees .pst file. Was looking at December 2003 and there was an email I sent to this person around the exact time my FWW was first having SF with the OM. Right then and there I knew what I was doing at that very moment. Kinda sucked.

Sorry Hemidart, that sucks.

On a lighter note, your sig is hilarious. ".... cool Christmas Present"

I roll each time I see it and don't even know why. I hope it is your humor and sarcasm.