Thanks Mortarman!

WH has always tried to avoid confrontation and I know he will until its right in his face and stuck between a rock and a hard place.

When I sent the email, all I got was requests for care packages, sweet nothings and asking how we were and if I needed anything.

Before, when I would mention CO's or anything to do with OW , he would blow up, get pissed off and go off on me. Now it was completely ignored.

He asked my SIL for advice to push off OW. Im not sure what advice SIL told him other than keep giving her the cold shoulder and she'll eventually get tired.

The other day, my children and I were watching a movie and it was a usual topic adultry , DS 5, lectured me on, I should never leave his dad, etc. It made me cry knowing how hard I am working to save my marriage ( well to an extent) but Im looked at like if I did wrong for letting him leave.

I will confront WH as soon as he gets back ( it just seems like im making it harder for him, kowing the hardships he's gowing thru) but I need to be strong and just do it .



* Everything becomes a little clearer. I realize what life is all about. It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough and giving more when you feel like giving up! *

I just found out OW and her husband are legally seperated. From what I know the husband has tried to reconcile with spouse. Adultry isnt a factor because they are seperated, right? Im trying to find info out on the spouse and possibly contat him. Is this a good idea? or should I not even bother and expose to the military myself?

* Everything becomes a little clearer. I realize what life is all about. It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough and giving more when you feel like giving up! *

Can anyone give me some insight if I should contact OWH?

ALWAYS contact the spouse of a WS. Always!!

In His arms.

I finally put some things together regarding OW and WH. About 2 months ago WH told me ha talked to a friend named Jeff and that he knew alot about me. I was baffled didnt know what the heck was going on. Then WH claimed about a week later after that saying OW was getting info about me, my life from her husband. I tried looking for this guy in my pamphlet for contacting spouses of the deployed soldiers and I couldnt find any info. I just happend to search the directory and found a guy named Jeff with her last name- she still carries his last name. I paid the fee to find his current phone #'s etc. If she wants to lie about me contacting her husband , why not let it be true and really blow her bubble! I know she was doing this to get WH mad at me but it didnt work of course. I will get the report in 24 hrs , Ill see what info I can get. Thanks !

I paid money to do a US search on OWH and found nothing, other than matching addresses to OW but no phone numbers. has anyone ever searched for phone numbers/people? Im coming up with dead ends but I really think OWH could help end this all.

Any suggestions ?

Mortarman,

what would happen if OWH somehow contacted CO about the affair. OW and H are currently seperated not divorced but is threating my WH. I just found out. OWH has been hacking into WH emails and threatend to contact me and my family about the affair. ( they conveinced him that I wasnt aware of the affair) . WH said he was sorry that he didnt inform me of what was going on. He said that was another main reason that he broke off the A with OW. He wasnt going to be responsible in the reason of OW loosing custody of her child , didnt want to be caught up in the drama, didnt want his own kids/me to suffer in those consequences.

I told him this is why you need to come clean, he said he knew. I was right all along. So what if OWH does contact CO, being legally seperated does he really have any rights in breaking the affair? I guess just get her (OW and my WH) in trouble because we are still married?

can you shed light on this?

I have warned you and your husband that it was only a matter of time before someone got this out. And it sounds like that someone will be the OWH!!!

If the CO gets it from him??? Count on your husband not getting the protections afforded to him if it had been him that had confessed. Confession equals second chance. Having someone else tell the commander means the CO can do anything at his disposal, including Article 15.

All the signs are there and your WH is not getting it. He is dancing around the fire, thinking he isnt going to get burned, all the while dousing himself in gasoline!!

Tell your husband something for me. As a former IG, tell him I said that he has very little time left to do the right thing. With everything you have told me (and that is just what he has allowed you to know...there is probably a whole lot more), then your WH needs to know that we are talking days, maybe even weeks...before all ****** will break loose.

They all think they will get away with it. Just lay low and it will all go away. Every soldier I investigated never thought they would get caught. But they almost always do.

Time is ticking away ShouldI. And your husband really is the only one who has the power to have this turn out so you and him do not get slammed. He had better wake up and see that very soon.

In His arms.

My wife had a short emotional affair with an Army Recruiter several years ago. I contacted him and told him that if he didn't back off I would report him to the CO and push to have him courtmartialed (he was married also). He did back off but from my own experience in the military (a friend caught in an affair) the consequenses can be very severe. My friend was told by the commander that had he let him in on what was going on the most he would have gotten was a letter of repremand. As it was he was discharged for Bad conduct and forfeited 3 months pay. Tell your WH to go see his commander ASAP. they are people too and will appreciate the honesty and do what ever they can to protect their troops. There is nothing to fear unless he chooses to remain silent and then he will live with it forever. There is no statute of limitations in the UCMJ.

I received a call the other day to my home from a guy named Jeff who wanted to talk to me about my H. I havent called not to easy with calling complete strangers. So, WH finally called to tell me hes ok, I asked if he knew the guy, he confirmed its OWH. He informed me of whats been going on.
OWH is living with another woman conveincing their 3 yr old child that she is the mother, that OW abandond her own son, etc ( this is what OW says) I cant say for sure its true but maybe its a ploy for WH to feel sorry for her.

I sent WH a message telling him to come clean, I think this was a warning to him from OWH to back off. I do tell my WH everything so I assume this guy would imagine me telling him. I know he has my email addresses etc, he was hacking into the emails of WH.

their on their way back to camp, hopefully WH would do something about it , soon.

I cant help but feel unsafe in my own home. If OWH is as phsyco as OW describes him to be. If he (OWH) knows my # to my home I am assuming he may know where my home is. I know I shouldnt be afraid but I am home alone (pregnant) and two small children in my home!

Does a WH gets so deep in the fog that they let their family be in jeopardy?

Mortarman, if this OWH comes to a CO and exposes the affair himself, would the only way I be notified be from WH or possibly OWH? Im sure they would try to keep things low , or would they somehow notify me of whats going on.

They would not notify you most likely. It depends on what OMH tells them. They may contact you to get more information.

But most likely, the first indication you will get if this happens is that your husband calls and says he is in BIG trouble!

In His arms.

I received a call from WH and notified me that indeed OWH did contact Battalion via Email and notified them of the Affair! WH said he is not in trouble, OW denied the A and so did WH ( since he said everything is done and over with her!). Command is good friends with WH told them that by law yes they have to give statements and investigate. But nothing was found out.

OWH and OW are legally seperated and CO were confused as to why OWH is trying to stir things up. ( I could think of one , He wants full custody of child)

So nothing was done. WH asked me to change the house number because this man, OWH would possibly try to harm us , etc.

WH kept apologizing saying he was wrong to start the A since the beginning and all hes done is cause pain to his own family. He said if he can take it back he would. He feels sorry that he involved himself with a family that had serious issues before him, now he has to deal with it because he made himself apart of it. He told OW that it is over and he needs to be with his family and felt sorry that they ruined a friendship.

Since CO's didnt really take OWH serious , why would they take me serious? Should I just assume it is over and continue with NC letter once he's home for good? He's been calling everyday (when he can) and acts like everythings back to the way it was before!

Again, thanks for any advice from all MB'rs .

I received a FWD email from what I am assuming is OWH, (on one of my rarely used email accts) He fwd me response from CO, their response is there is nothing they can do unless he (owh) has proof such as pictures, and eye witnesses.

What do I do from here?

Not true...at all. First off, you do have proof. Maybe the OWH doesnt...but you do. Second, the CO can order your husband not to contact or have anything to do with the OW. He doesnt need proof to do that.

So, I think the CO is just trying to take the easy road. But if you sent proof to him, then he would be forced to do something. Added to that, with proof...it appears that your husband and OW will have lied to the commander. This is DEFINITELY not good.

Like I said, if someone goes above your husband's CO and calls the IG...there is going to be a huge blow up. But it can all be defused if your husband just does thet right thing.

Otherwise, I can give you the number to th IG...and they can do what so far hasnt been done.

In His arms.

WH told me OWH has been impersonating His W and my WH by sending false emails that they didnt write. The only proof I have is saved emails, some picts of just WH and OW name in hearts, and his own confession recorded in my mind. But other than that I dont have any proof.

Yes, WH is good friends with CO's and basiclly they told him if youve got nothing to hide dont worry about it. (WH told me I dont cause its over between me and her what happened between us was the past and wont be again, I dont want her problems to affect my family) So, in that remark he can deny the A till hes blue in face, unless his close friends rat on him and I doubt that.

So Im left with WH to do the right thing but wont unless I do contact IG, but what proof do they need?

Not much proof. And believe me, we IGs are good at getting to the truth. Good at getting those guys to tell the truth. Look, none of his buddies are going to want to go to jail for lying to an IG.

And he does have stuf to hide. Drug use. Adultery. Just cause he isnt doing it now doesnt mean he isnt guilty.

This is a game he is playing. The COO may be turning a blind eye...but that does not mean the IG will. You have plenty of proof to have the commanding general order your husband to cease contact with the OW. He doesnt need "proof." Not like in a court. Even the "appearance of impropriety" is enough.

In His arms.