Some of you are familiar with Undo and myself and our progress. Am I being too optimistic by saying that I think we are doing very well? I’m not saying that everything is perfect, but I read some posts and compare their progress to ours and I consider us to be doing very well.

She has done NC and kept to it. We have been very open with each other and she has discussed at times how she is angry about the affair and how it has affected our life and the morals that she believes in. We are also continuing MC/IC and she is learning more about herself AND her family than she thought.

But I’m still curious, am I being too optimistic? I realize that we still have a long way to go and that the bumps in the road usually come out of nowhere, but I feel confident in our progress and being able to reach our goal.

When this originally started we had no idea what to expect but as time has gone by much of our progress has been due to the help from everyone on this site. I want to reach out and thank all of you, especially Whisper, for being there when we need you the most.

I'd like to add as well...

You ALL have been a blessing to Hopeful4Future and myself and we can't thank you enough. Please... if there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.

Maybe we are being too optimistic, but we do have our eyes wide open. We know there are potholes... hills... valley's etc...

But we have such a good feeling about this. We done alot of hard work... had alot of tears and most of all have alot of Love for each other.

Thank you all again.

Undo

I would say: yes you are being optimistic. Optimisim can aid you to go into denial. Keep an eye out for denial, because it will allow you to slip up in your recovery or stop growing. That doesn't mean you aren't doing fine or not handleing it well, you probably are.

Remember that I am suffering newly through this as well. I began my own personal recovery 12 weeks ago today. and I'm all so new and haven't yet had my marriage turn the corner. (I'm the BS--and looking into what my part in the failure was)

I started on the road to recovery and a bit into it I started feeling so good like I had beaten the thing. Well, then I turn to co-dependant behavior and my eyes are opened that I will never be done with growth until I die. And then I found myself being self righteous and holier-than-my-wh. For a bit that is overwhelming. It seems like for me, bit by bit the denial peels away, I face more character defects, and I have yet more work to do. Then i think how much better it will be with those character defects removed or improved.

Keep up the hard work, it will be worth it.

I do believe that everyone's recovery is different - based on the nature of the A, how it ended, how committed the couple is to recovery, and numerous other factors. Are you being overly optimistic? Maybe, maybe not. The key is that you've come this far, and there's nothing wrong in celebrating small victories ... and this is no small victory!

While you've certainly had your share of bumps 'n bruises, I'm exceedingly proud of both of you for making big strides toward the path of recovery ... not to mention an even better, brighter future and marriage together! That is all anyone can possibly hope for. So, be proud. Be strong. And stay on course. You're doing great!

Oh, and, by the way, the best way to thank anybody on MB is to lead the path that we'd all like to follow - a happy, healthy M! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't think you are being too optimistic, but remember it is really soon and you may get hit with anger and hurt later on, even if Undo remains as good in recovery as she does. Be aware of your feelings, and let them out.

My H is a good example...we started here on MB in January and both sounded alot like you and Undo...we had 4 months good recovery (so i thought) until H was hit with enormous anger...he got stuck, and for 3 months it was not pretty - emotional LB and DJ all over with him actually wanting out. by month 7 he was so into the negatives and wanted out so bad he got into a place where he started an EA, DID leave me, and had a PA. 4 weeks later, we reconciled and are now almost 2 months into recovery #2.

We too were super optimistic in the beginning, and many people warned us that we may have our battles to come, or we may not.

We are doing really GOOD now and things are going very well. I have a feeling you two are going to do great. Just listen to your feelings, and try to let it all out. learn as much of the MB pricipals as possible so when you hit those points you can handle them. Make sure you have a IC to get you through those points. My H had abandoned MB principals and wouldn't see an IC which I think is how he ended up where he did. Learn all you can now to help you with those bumps and you guys will do great.

I am so happy you guys are both giving you 100% with this! With 100% on both sides like that you guys can definately do it!