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So far I have protected my WS from exposure to his family and mine. (OW is single, so no sp to inform). He is grateful but at times I feel am helping him keep a secret.What has anyone lelse experienced?
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Is he still in contact with the OW? If he is, or if he does it again, blitz him and tell everyone he might turn to in a time of crisis. I did this to my WW and it broke her down quickly- she had no sympathetic shoulders to cry on, only people telling her to "pull her head out."
WS don't deserve our protection anyway.
Good luck.
BS (me) 36
FWW 32
DD 5
DS 2
D-Day & Exposure 4/3/05
D-day #2 Early June '05
In Recovery
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Joined: Jun 2005
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It has been almost 5 wks of NC--or so he says & she has not called him since dday-- (still waiting for updated cell phone record). I have told him to let me know if he does have contact because if I find out about any lying I don't know what I will do--I guess tell the family! The weird thing is, his brother had an A 5-6 yrs ago and the similarities btwn them are weird!
Thanks!
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Do NOT forewarn him of any Exposure efforts. He'll put a spin on how his "crazy wife is telling lies about him. If you find out they are still in contact, Expose to everyone who can help influence him to do the "right" thing and end the A. Just as the previous poster stated. It's the shock and awe version of Affair Busting. If the OW's parents can be found, include them on the Exposure list. Especially if she's under 30. Mom and Dad may exercise some influence on her life.
Remember, too, exposure is an act of love, done to save your marriage, not an act of vengence to get back at your WS.
Best wishes,
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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SD, Thanks for the good advice. OW is my age (41) and military so don't know how to find her family (NV I think). H's biggest fear is I expose him to his former commander (who is my good friend's H--and the OW's boss)but don't want to risk him losing benefits for us (could care less about her)--and retirement if we work things out--it took several years (with my help!) for him to finally make Colonel! I will have to keep the thoughts of revenge out of my head! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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I have seen several different threads about Exposure in the Military, with varied results. In general, there seems to be the "intent" to discourage "sexual misconduct", and a 4 star General just lost his job.
I would say if the NC is verifiable, and your WS is coming out of the fog and re-engaging in the marriage, then no. But.... if you have proof that contact continues, then go to your Jag official and turn them suckers loose on it.
I know there is a danger of punishment or loss or rank, but do you want to allow contact to continue? Exposure is still the biggest weapon in driving a stake through the heart of an affair.
Best wishes,
SD
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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Hi. I just wanted to comment on the cell phone bill. My Dh got a second tracphone inorder to carry on his little fling. I could not believe that he didn't keep his word, the people herre warned me but I was in denial.
Just so you can keep your eye out, there are ways to get around the cell phone bill.
pretty confused
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I know he could by a tracphone or use phone card to call--will have to confront on that, I guess--I mean, he denied having an A when I asked bc I "didn't ask the question right"!! Thanks for the tip! How did you find the phone? I've checked his car and briefcase................
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