i am preparing our property settlement agreement.

my lawyer has advised me that i cnnot qualitfy for alimony at this timeas i make more money than my husband.

he said i have tow options for the agreement
1. retain my right to make future claims if unemployed or unable to work.

but...then my husband would want the same

2. waive my rights to all claims now and in the future
so that my husband waives his also.

he said my husband would never go for what I want:

i would like to try to get my husband to sign with a statement that since the separation was not mutual or voluntary on my part, i maintain my rights but he waives his.

does anyone know...can you only claim alimony before you are divporced?

i forgot to ask my lawyer this (i will call tomorrow and ask him)

Not a divorce attorney but I am a tax attorney (licensed but not really practicing). Just thinking out loud...Your question seems to confuse the support obligations spouse's have to each other prior to divorce with an arguable right to alimony upon divorce.

Your other inquiries are merely shades of negotiation.

Your attorney thinks you'll never get it...however, how do you know if you don't ask for it....you can argue you make more now but 10 years from now he will make more based upon his education or some other qualification which you helped him acheive, etc. Even if you don't get alimony when you back down from it you can just put in that you'd (don't say anything about him getting the same right) like the right to request it in the event of unemployment, etc... When he says he'd like that right too...you say ..come on..I already backed off the alimony issue...or just backpeddle and start arguing for alimony again...until he caves...if he's like me he's watching the clock an is more concerned with attorney fees today than unemployment 2morrow.

IN GENERAL, women & Betrayed Spouses...IMHO...have the advantage here...be patient and argue for what you NEED....guys and guilty Wayward Spouses cave into (against the advice of their attorney's) all the time just to get it done and/or escape the guilt/reality of the divorce process....use this to your advantage...threaten to drag it out...get what you NEED. I emphasize "need" b/c the courthouse is not a likely place to exact revenge...you'll only make your lawyer rich.

Just my opinion,

Mr. WWWondering

thanks wondering

i think it is fair to say:
based upon the circumstances of the separation, i reserve the right to request alimony if unemployed or unable to work due to medical reasons.

hey, i'll try to get away with it.

my husband doesn't want to pay any more lawyer fees-he said ifwe can agree on things, he'll justsign without having it looked over again.

i don't know if you can only request alimony before the divorce or if the right is retained after.

bump

I'm not familiar with your sitch. What would cause you to become unemployed or medically unable to work? Do you have a pre-existing medical condition?

Why do you want spousal support if you are employed and earn more than your STBXH?

i don't want spousal support right now-i only feel that wih 9 months before my husband can even file for divorce-i should not waive my rights-just in case something should happen.

also-i was clinically depressed for 5 years when my husband started his affair. i pulled out of it-on my own but with this situation, i wory that it couldhappend again. at it's worst-i could barely get out of bed as i was sleeping so much from the depression and medication and i used all of my sick days plus a few without pay.

(In case I get depressed) He would be nuts to sign such an agreement especially since your last bout lasted 5 years. Although, even if you got him to agree, I doubt you would get more than a years worth of spousal support.

I hope for his sake he doesn't sign anything before having it reviewed. He cannot afford NOT to have an attorney look over the agreement.

Sorry, I'm just not seeing the justification for alimony now or in your future.

ba109

if what he has done causes me to become depressed again-then he should pay if i can't work

gee...he cheats on me when i'm sick then leaves me when i get better and calls my family and says....i don't think she's going to survive this after losing her father...take care of her.

oh yeah...the good guys shouldn't pay alimony

No, I don't think he should. Now you admit that there are other circumstances surrounding your depression such as the loss of your father. He is not responsible for that. He is not responsible for your depression at all since you claim you already had depression prior to his affair.

sorry i disagree. i was pronounced "cured" by the doctors who are very surprised that i did it on my own.

so if it happensagain because of this new loss in my life-divorce is a death

it's his fault

nothing you can say will convince me otherwise

Well, good luck with that.