This afternoon, I am having my first sit down face-to-face with WW and the attorneys. I would appreciate any advice or "pearls" that you may have concerning these meetings. My plan is to say nothing and let my attorney do all the talking( as per my Plan B letter). I am 18 months out of my house after a 2 day false reconcialtion.

BTW I am located in California, a community property state.

No advice - think your approach is very wise. Just wanted to wish you luck. Let us know how it goes.

Regards,

BB

Brit,

Thanks so much for your support. I believe that you are an attorney? That makes me want to keep my mouth shut even more.

How about those Indians!

Hey Cymanca, Just wanted to send a message of support. I don't have any advise, but I am sure your post will help many others once the discussion gets going.

We have been on this train for a long time...sometimes it seems as if it is an endless long, hot, sweaty trip. I hope the mediation meeting will go well so that you can begin a new journey.

How will you feel sitting across from WS? Has she ever emerged even slightly from the fog? Is she immersed in fogland? More importantly how are you doing?

Sending support....ss

Cym,

All the best. You know the drill and have a plan. Expect the unexpected and you will be ok. Prepare for the worst and practice your reverse babbling in case she puts you in an ackward situation.

Not totally related but I am dealing with a WS boss. He has the nerve to tell me he doesn't read my e-mails. Hm.... he sends and receives e-mails to clients, employees, prospects, etc.... but not for 1 ee who is passing work info? Hm..... What can I say? He is the boss. I just smile and nod. He has no clue what is cooking in my brain. LOL!!! Dumb twit. His own ways w/b his downfall. That is what will happen to all WS' whose BS' plan right. Heck, I'm not even the BS in this sitch but sure feel like one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I know you can do it.

Sending support and hugz from a tiny spot in the big blue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

I have never had this experience ... so guess what? Looks like YOU will be the one others will ask for advice/pearls after you get done!

LOL

SS,

Yes I had some very brief moments when my WW seemed to have some rational thought but my insistence on the no contact letter was always refused.

Amazingly in this small town I run into her very infrequently, but a good part of that is due to her boyfriend(s) not being local.

Thank you for your support

Yes, Cymanca, I am an attorney (graduated from one of Cleveland's 2 law schools). Your attorney does this ALL the time and is in the best position to advance your interests. If there is something you feel the need to say or would like to say - tell your attorney, first....Most of all keep in mind this is just mediation - you don't have to agree to anything you don't want to...it can't be forced on you.

Not a big Indians fan, but LOVE LOVE LOVE the Browns! Right now, the temp in Houston is incredible - makes me long for those summers on the Lake!

Good Luck this afternoon,

BB

Orchid and Pep,

So nice to hear from my MB friends. I wish I was nervous about the meeting but I am not. Slept like a baby last night. Must be the sleep of the innocent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Brit,

Just a professional question. Is it the makeup of a Family Practice attorney that causes him/her to be on the abrasive side? According to the people that know, I have one of the best but perhaps our personalities are so different that I approach each session with a hint of unease. I am in a good ol' boy town and he is definitely one of the good ol' boys.

Just was put on hold by my attorney. He states that my WW does not want to meet with me in a face to face( the opposite of what was stated before. It was THEIR demand that this meeting take place). I am to wait in my office until I am called.

Oh well, I have booked out my patients this pm. I guess I can catch up on my reading.

So I am sitting in my office with my anger rising, wondering what is happening. An hour and a half goes by and my receptionist comes back and tells me there are two attorneys in my waiting room and would like to see the office. As a refresher, last year a group of docs got together and put up an office building. I spent two years and hundreds of hours with architects and designers building the office around my WW's handicap( she has rheumatoid arthritis). She has not paid one penny in rent money and evidentally it is a bone of contention with her and her lawyer. Their position is that because she filed before the move in date, that I was given plenty of warning and she was not responsible for any monies due. We are talking about a LOT of money since the lease she signed is a 5 year lease with three 5 year options(required by our SBA loan).

Her attorney seamed like a pleasant enough fellow but my first impression was that he is my WW's age and a flashy dresser. For all you TV buffs Arnie Becker(with hair) comes to mind. That is the exact age, position and wealth that my WW would drool over. Since he has been vouched for by Rev Mike, I guess I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

So I sit and wait for their conference to end.

I know this must be very nerve-wracking to you, but I would relax. I think, usually in mediation, both sides ask for more than they really want, and then try to come to a compromise.

It is unfortunate that your wife won't see you face to face. The lawyers could just drag this on and on (for more money).

It would be better to be able to agree on things if possible, but it doesn't sound like your wife will be taking that route.

Cymanca,

Sorry it took so long to answer your previous question - heck of an afternoon at work. I don't have a whole lot of exposure to Family Law specialists (I'm corporate in-house) - just the one I dealt with on my D. He was very personable, kind and friendly - but then again, we speak the same language (kind of like when docs/dentists get together) so it might have been different.

Hope everything is going okay - let us know how it ends up.

Regards,

BB

Hi Cy (like my poetry?):

My W never left (physically, that is), but we DID go 2 a mediator. I guess I'm surprised that your lawyers could have a mediation on your behalf without you 2th being there.

I doubt we'll have 2 go back 2 our mediator, but if my W doesn't want 2 mediate (like, say, she decided she didn't want a DV but wanted 2 resume a R with RM), I'd call a lawyer on my own, pay him more than we would the mediator, 2rn him loose, and wait in the fallout shelter.

Let us know what happened.

-ol' 2long

2long,

Sorry, I decided to go out to a movie( The Bad News Bears), since I never heard from my attorney again. So I am in the dark as much as everyone else.

Thanks for your comments.

So what happened next? I hate cliff hanger endings. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Update

I just got out of surgery this am and got back to my office to find no messages from my attorney. WTF!!!!! ( excuse my French). This maybe normal for the legal process but if it is , I don't particularly like it.

Hopefully my attorney had some commitments last night and court this am and that is why I have heard nothing.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh well I suppose no news is good news!

Cymanca,

Not hearing from your attorney under these circumstances is rather unusual - would suggest you call him.

Regards,

BB