I really need to know what ya'll think and what you would do if it were you?! Here's so far the last I've heard from OW, this is what I have been dealing with. My H has told me things that were said and done that he didn't want to tell me but knew I needed to know otherwise I wouldn't have asked. He has tried to be as honest as possible since this all came out. He has confirmed things she has said and also denied some and when he would I would then question her since she kept emailing me and she would eventually contridict herself, So when you read this don't take what she says litterally as most of you probably know anyways. I know if I respond this will keep going but I really want to say "What the ****** are you thinking, are you kidding me?" They talked for about 2 weeks before meeting and he saw her twice and slept with her those two times. He ended all contact with her (because he felt guilty) and she sent a message through a military website that I had registered for with his name years ago, that's how I found out. She couldn't get a hold of him so she tried that. And now she wants to make it sound as if they had a long romance. I want so bad to respond but I just don't know if that will end hearing from her. Would any of you respond or just hope that this is the end of hearing from her???? Sorry so long, just needed to vent I guess, the rest of this is her latest email:


The sad thing is that I was playing with you and I should not have. I'm not preg and *** did tell me the truth about a lot. That he was tired of the same ol thing with sex with you, your cheating (so he thought) and not being there for his boys.

I was what you are not. It was not all about sex (you were right about that) *** made me realize a lot about myself. And I see a lot about you that reminds me of how trusting and "just how much" I thought I loved my ex...till he did it again. You can never lose what you do not have. Trust is trust. And it takes time to build that - which after 4 months of meeting and getting married and kids is just not there. (that was about sex)

If you believe for once that he is a good man....there is no "good man" out there. By being single the last 2 yrs...BTW-I never slept with anyone else but ***...he was that special to me that I made a compromise (and he knows that). But I have come to learn that there are some faithful men, with good hearts, that have stronger relationships with their women, than ***. *** was looking for something other than you and he found it. I could have never told you earlier but when you finally told me the truth, when *** did not call me, I knew it. That's why I said "if" I was pregnant I knew how to reach his commanding officer. I knew the only way you would tell me the truth is if I used the pregnant card. It worked. I wanted to know just how bad he lied and now I know what you knew. He's not all that bad, but he is, don't be fooled.

I never offered *** sex. I offered him companionship and friendship (we had that) and things went the other way quick when he met me for the first time at my door and stayed the night.
It was like WOW. He was like WOW. We experimented about a lot of things. I never asked him to stay - he wanted a lot from me that I offered him. He was so eager to see me, spend time with me, hold me, kiss me, it was good. The things he did to me, the phone sex, phone talks, the golf range, the lunch, the sex was all amazing. There were other things he did in and out of bed to please me. Men like *** are a dime a dozen. Don't be fooled.

He did tell me he wanted me for himself and that the guys knew he was married (you were right about that) and that they all may be stationed together and he did NOT want you to find out if you did not get divorced. But I did talk with (a friend) (he covered for ***) and many of his other drinking buddies.

Oh I'm sure *** has had a wake up call. We all know that, but faced with reality - he is a cheater and I definitely want him but not gonna fight for him. I already had the best of him (who he really is) If you had let him go, I know for sure he would be here with me (no doubt). When you found out about us - I told him that I wanted to hold him and tell him things would be okay, no matter what. Either your marriage would work out or not work out, I would be here for him. I'm still not dating anyone else by choice.

The only difference in all of this is that I would not lie cause it was on me and told you about the affair we had. He was forced to tell the truth only after I let you in on it and he was forced to admit what he "chose" to do. Violate your trust and the marriage "you" thought you had with him. He was going to come see me for the next year until school was over. BTW - you are way too controlling and demanding. I can see why *** is intimidated by you. You get to play the saint role here and look like the good wife who takes back the cheating husband and sugar coat your marriage, until he realizes again he is "not happy" with what he has with you.

Guess *** had his mid-life crisis. Cool. Later!

wow! does anyone else here want to choke this sleazy chick or what? I wouldn't respond, it will do you no good because she won't hear a word you are saying anyway. Don't stoop to her level by justifying that bunch of crap with a response. she is a poor pathetic excuse. Delete it, get rid of it, and work on you and your marriage. ow will say just about anything, especially when they have lost their relationship if that is what you want to call it with someone's h. sorry you had to read such a disgusting email but don't give it much creadance. hugs, mlhb

I second the choking part. She is totally baiting you for a response. The only answers that she will give you are to her benefit.

Keep strong, my prayers are with you.
LT

Do NOT respond to her. You will only steep to her level.

Dont play her game, the only reason she is baiting you is because she has lost, she thought things would play her way and SURPRISE it didnt.

I could think of a few other things than choking but ditto on that!

I feel sorry for her. She is a mess, she is lost. She contradicts herself so many times in that email. She doesnt know who she is or what she wants. How sad.

I wouldnt take anything personal, though. She is just ranting, hurting because a REAL woman bested her.

Let it go.

In His arms.

I say let it go too, and I'm also reminded of something my husband always says, "Thank God for free speech, it lets us know who/where the idiots are!". Don't waste your energy with a response, work on your marriage, it's the only thing that matters here...

Wow! Is there a script for the OW's???
Sounds very similar to what OW told me on the phone...
The OW in my case contracted herself also. I even set her up and caught her in lies.
I empathize with you though, for OW's words still haunt me over and over...

When OW told me that my FWH wanted to be with her instead of me because she made him feel alive and that the only reason he was with me was for the kids...

I just replied...ummmm...funny he says it's the opposite and after ten months he doesn't miss you...

I agree with everyone here, she's trying to destroy any hope of your marriage surviving this.

No response will drive her nuts...
or just respond with:
"Thank you for your input. I have chosen to work on saving my marriage as my H has chose to work on us."

See, this what I am talking about. I tried ignoring and this was the latest. She had tried to tell me that she was pregnant. I went along with that game for a few days because I knew that there was no way she was pregnant from my H, he had a vasectomy 7 years ago. For that reason I didn't want her knowing that we were going to work on our marriage and I was moving to be with him. She has no idea that I will be in the area within 2 weeks. I don't want her to know that.

Good response, Pureangel, though I wouldn't even thank her, I'd modify your reply to read like this:

"Your input has been noted. I have chosen to work on saving my marriage as my H has chose to work on us."

I think this says it all. Except she is lying about not fighting for him--her whole e-mail is doing just that. She is telling you things that will upset you (to get you to leave him) and things she hopes you will tell him (that she is not dating and she wants him, etc.) to somehow break you up. The bottom line is she is admitting she still wants him, everything else is motivated by that.

As others have said, send her the response previously suggested and/or block her e-mail address so you do not have to deal with her [email]cr@p[/email] anymore.