I edited this because my XWH likes to read what my H and I write on here. **Everyone wave and say Hi to fhl's XWH!** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

My e-mail is roseandgrace@hotmail.com, I still would love to talk with you.

*bump*

Sounds to me like he is trying to make problems for you and your new marriage. Maybe he is controlling, and still doesn't want to let go.

How would you removing the children from the state change their relationship with him?

I am no legal expert, but from experience know that it is almost impossible to remove young children from their mother, even if she is a HORRIBLE mom.

I think he is miserable with the consequences of the choices he made, and he is looking for any way to end the pain of those choices. He has a sense of entitlement to personal happiness and anyone else's expense, including his childrens'. That was shown when he walked away from what was our family because he wasn't "happy". That was his ONLY reason! And that is his only reason for wanting to take his children from their mother. Because HE isn't happy.

I don't wish him any harm and I have always encouraged a relationship between he and the kids. I just want him to stop the emotional blackmail.

I am confident in the fact that I am a GREAT mom and that everyone who knows me would attest to that fact. I am also aware that he is just grasping at straws.

I guess he seriously thought that when we divorced, we would always and forever live close to each other. I don't know what would ever make him come to such a grandiose assumption...I guess WS Fog thinking...

It's pretty sad to see that he is still basically in the fog after all this time, I guess since his ridiculous denial about the affair being what it is continues - exposure never really happened. To this day he remains in a bizarre relationship with a married woman...my kids have to play house with her when she drives from NC to visit. They can't understand why "Minnie" and Daddy act like boyfriend and girlfriend when "Minnie" is still married to her their friends' daddy!

It's sad for my girls, I hope one day they can make some sense out of it.

If I were you, I would concentrate on my husband - not the ex. I wouldn't argue with him, that is for sure. He will get used to the fact that he chose to leave the family. That's just tough.

My WH is like yours in some ways. He writes me long letters feeling sorry for himself, because I have so much, and he has so little. Duh! He is living the results of his decisions.

I'm in the military and that was a big concern for me if my FWW and I would have divorced. Seeing the kids for a max of 30 days a year plus phone calls was scary. Especially thinking that another man would be influencing them instead of me for 90% of their young lives. Luckily we reconciled and have been solid since. But if its not in the divorce decree to stay in that state and he PCS's(leave to another base) then he has little recourse. You don't sound like you would be vindictive, that is not always the case with others. I would calm his nerves by showing him how open you will be letting him have generous visitation with them.

Believer - you don't know how happy I've been to do just that lately. I was just thinking how I was enjoying the "drama-free zone" when I was hit with this petition for custody.

InLikeFlynn - I am very cooperative with visitation and I almost always accomaodate his schedule (deployments, C-schools and such). He takes it very for granted. He has no clue how bad some people have it.

Faith - Expect more drama, but try to ignore it. As you get more used to doing that, it will probably die down.

Yeah. It's kinda hard to ignore this.
Hopefully once he loses this fight (and loses thousands and thousands of dolllars along the way) he will decide to deal with the consequences of his choices in a way that doesn't involve hurting me or my girls.

Mrs. LostHusband (I really think your sitch is special, so I am chosing to address you appropriately!),

I am do not practice Family Law and my only true exposure to it is the class I took so I could pass the bar exam and my own D, so I am not in a good place to answer from a legal perspective. Sorry I wasn't able to be of assistance here - I have courtroom experience and can pretty much answer general procedure questions, but not Family Law.

Regards,

BB

PS - Sorry it took me so long to respond - very hectic afternoon at work.

BB

BTW - Check your Divorce Decree and Custody Order - it may have terms re: moving the children out of state or X number of miles from the non-custodial parent. Mine does...

Regards,

BB