My H and I had not found this site until after the A was ended. He ended it by flying her out here and spending 4 days with her. They started out as friends and not wanting to "be" with each other. When they were together this last time they were in separate rooms and there was no PC. He came home ready to start anew with me, But i don't feel the end. Is it too late to send a NC letter when there hasn't been any contact for 2 months since they saw each other last. I feel as if she may think that they could be just friends again down the line, because really that is what they were. (this was a long distance/online start that escalated due to business trips out there) H will do it for me but doesn't see the reason because it is ended. Is the NC letter more for the WS or the BS. I would feel better letter her know from him that there is NO future for their friendship. (he said he gave her no indication that there might be) What should i do?

The NC letter is 99% for the BS. By all means have him write one, and you read it and send it.

It can be short - Dear OW - I love my wife, and made a horrible mistake. We are working on our marriage. Please never contact me again for any reason.

Losttiger, I think in this specific situation of you and your H it might NOT be a good thing to send a NC letter because there has already been NC for 2 months... To send a NC letter on this stage will count as CONTACT and the goal here is to avoid ANY type of contact…

I know and understand the NC letter is important to you and of course such a letter will show you that your H is fully committed to you and the M, but don’t you think your H’s willingness to send the letter and the fact that there hasn’t been contact for 2 months already is proof enough that he really IS committed to you and the M? And add the fact that your H said that he didn’t gave her any indication that there might be a future friendship and I can't see the purpose of a NC letter on this stage... I also think the chances that she will contact him again is very small taken into consideration that 2 months has passed already. I can be wrong, but this is just my feeling.

I would say that IF the OW ever tries to contact your H again in future, THEN it will be appropriate to send the NC letter. Not sooner than that.

Yikes! OK one says yes one says no, stuck again. Anyone else have an opinion on this.

He ended it by flying her out here and spending 4 days with her. They started out as friends and not wanting to "be" with each other. When they were together this last time they were in separate rooms and there was no PC.
You actually believe this?

The NC letter is for everyone.
I don't agree it is 99% for the bs.

For the bs, it shows a willingness by the ws to repair the marriage.
For the ws, it is a final step to ending the affair.
For the op, it is something to let them know it's over (so the op can move on without thinking the ws is still "waiting")

H will do it for me but doesn't see the reason because it is ended
The NC letter is to make sure that all three of you are on the same page about this and there is no mistaking/lying about what was actually said.

^^^bump for more responses^^^^

He ended it by flying her out here and spending 4 days with her. They started out as friends and not wanting to "be" with each other. When they were together this last time they were in separate rooms and there was no PC.
Again, do you actually believe this?