WOW....this is the first time I have been able to log on and post since...gosh, I think it was in April...right after WH announced his love for OW.

I just wanted to pop in and say HI to anyone that might remember me (my posting days were but a blip..lol)...I have been posting else where since April...

An update :

May 4 marked our 14th anniversary...WH at this point has been living with OW for about 6 weeks...I filed for D soon after...

WH spends all his free time with OW and her kids (girl -11,boy - 13), only see's our kids 2 or 3 x a month..we have 4 kids...2 are biologically his (D 13 , S 11) the older two are from my late husband (D17, MS 18).

July - we had Case Management Conference....WH had the kids for 1 overnight the whole month.

August - 1st Mediation was cancelled and rescheduled for September..

basically I'm still in limbo....we are still in disagreement over properties....he is planning on marrying OW as soon as D is final. He takes turnes watching her kids while she is working (they both work as crisis councelors for the mentally challanged), they work alternating shifts.. this bothers me as he would never help me with the kids..saying that it was my job to transport kids to school because I was a SAHM, even when he was off I still had to transport...when I was sick with the flu and had to drive with a bucket in hand...he made me transport the kids..NOW -wants to help her as much as he can and he even wants to drive a mini-van (what?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> ).... he drove by here yesterday with OW's kids....doesn't he even feel guilty about doing things with them when his own kids are right here less then 4 miles away (unless of coarse he is at "his" place, then it is right next door)??!!??

Anyway - sorry for the slight rant there..LOL....
HI again and I'm glad that I am finally able to post once more!! yippee <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Take care,

~Jamie~

Hey Mainegirl, sorry things are not better for you. {{Mainegirl}}

Thank you Faithful!!

By the by - somethings are "better" with me..for one, I know that I can make it on my own and I'm doing a fairly good job of that. The kids seemed to have snapped back into life with zest again. Although the M is dead, my spirit is not. I still struggle daily with trying to forgive WH for the betrayal, because I know until I do that, I will never be truely at peace within myself. I don't think I will reach that point until after the D b/c tensions are really at an all time high right now....real hard to show compassion to someone when both parties are trying to hang on to the (material) legacy we've built over the past 14+ years...lol..divorce is bitter and I don't wish it on anyone!

I would really like to reach a point in my life where I can look at WH and say - "I wish you the very best in life". - and mean it...but what I am wishing for him at this moment..has something to do with a meteor crashing to Earth...lol...I'm still a work in progress, what can I say?

Take care,

~Jamie~

Don't anticipate forgiving your WH 100% anytime soon.

When the Mom in you sees her children being hurt by ~anyone~ ... much less their very own Dad ..... the forgiveness is not usually as swift as it might be if you were only forgiving WH for hurting ~you~.

Hurt you ... you will be fine.
Hurt your children? ... Hard to retract those claws and fangs.

This is part of nature.

Be gentle with yourself ... forgiving him fully will take a very long time. VERY long. For now, be content behaving 'as if' you have forgiven him.

God Bless.

True, very true indeed!! Thanks Pep!

Still - I think it would take far less effort to forgive him then having the "thoughts" about him,her and meteors....hehe...

Take care,

~Jamie~

After much digging, I have finally got OW's whole name...what I have found out is that she is either the sister to, or SIL of, the richest man in our county. I am still trying to find out if she is this man's sister (if she is, she kept her maiden name).

Why bother, you might ask??.... Well for only one reason and one reason only - I would like to speak with OWH and compare notes, so to speak..for my own healing and closure..I want to know how long he knew about the two "love birds"...All I know is his first name..but upon checking out names and phone #'s I'm finding out that everyone in the state of Maine (slight exaggeration..lol) has an unpublished or private #....but at least I have her name and can work with that. Eventually I will know for sure if OWH's last name is the same as hers.


Take care,

~Jamie~