It's been 1 month since I've heard from WS. Last thing I sent was an email regarding dividing up our assets, and her getting the rest of her things.

I am taking all the good advice from all of my friends here and I have not and will continue not to contact her. I'm just letting it hang, and I'm in plan B mode.

I have heard through friends that WS is moving this week. I also heard that she has no intentions of getting any more of her things, and that she might not even fight me for any money.

Can anyone exlpain why she wouldn't contact me and put closure on this thing? If she made up her mind and decided that she's leaving, why wouldn't she want to get the final paperwork in order? What is the purpose of ignoring this for so long?

A friend of mine seems to think that my WS is simply concentrating all her efforts on OM and starting her new life, and moving. That I don't matter at all to her anymore and now take the backseat, and when she's ready to deal with me she will, no matter how much it's hurting me.

I suppose I'm looking for another way to reason this, some way to see a positive side, that maybe WS is so confused and still loves me.

I am trying to just forget and move on. Part of me knows that this is probably the real end, yet part of me doesn't want to believe it. Part of me is looking for closure through settling our finances and things, while part of me still hopes that day doesn't come.

I will remain silent, so as not to rock the boat. It's her move now, but everyday this is driving me crazy...

Joe, I am so sorry you find yourself here again. You know what? I would continue to focus on your own life and detaching from her, but perhaps a good long term strategy would be to wait until she is settled in with the OM and THEN finalize your finances. Wait until they have been together about 4 weeks, which is long enough for reality to set in and then start settling your finances. There are no guarantees, but that seems to me to be the most opportune time.

I am curious about something else, why did y'all never marry?

Reality to set in? For me? Or for her Mel?

She's moving from Ct. to Denver. I doubt she would change her mind in 4 weeks. I guess reality is hitting me now.

Married? It's a long story. Life just happens the way it does I guess. We had a relationship that was envied by all our friends. The typical story right? A relationship that seemed so good but went so bad.

We were committed to each other in every other way but that piece of paper. And believe me when I tell you how much I can't understand this at all, because for 17 years she stood by my side through everything. She was loyal, dedicated, loving, caring, and more respectful than I ever could have imagined. She was so good to everyone in our lives, not just me. And we struggled through hard times, as well as enjoyed many good times. We learned and grew together, and obviously apart. So many years, so many memories. I will always cherish the days we had, always remeber with love. I am thankful to have shared this most wonderful part of my life with someone that loved me like she did, when she did. Unfortunately I guess love fades away. It never did for me, but I guess it did for her. Who knows anymore.

I really find it hard to swallow, like so many of us here, that this could even be real.

I know in time things will get easier. For now though, I'm tired, lonely, and scared. I don't seem the least bit interested in meeting anyone, and my motivation for everything has gone. I walk out my door everyday and pretend not to be hurting, all the while I am crying inside. I'm sure it'll pass.

Thanks for responding. I was hoping you'd have an encouraging thought for me, but I see what it is now.

One 'encouraging' POV is that you are not in the fog as the WS is. Be glad.

Her A is temporary, yet she is making life changing decisions. To move to a new area may sound like fun but when the dust settles, she will be away from her familar surroudings and in time will miss her family. The WS won't miss her family since WS' don't have families but the WS is taking your W with her as hostage.

Pray for your W to get free. In the meantime you keep yourself moving forward and keep up your strength so that when the WS lessens the grip on your W, she can escape.

JMHO,
L.