H and I have been in "disfunctional" marriage for years, but have seen several MC since early on. Two amazing children, 4 and 8. H is a great father. No sex or intimate touching for more than 3 years for us though. Not much access to other women, so I wasn't too worried. Now, he has cell phone calls late at night on his phone, many outgoing calls on his cell (250 dollar phone bill this month). Think he only sees "her" when he travels, but talks to her a bunch. Doesn't talk to me at all, despite MC. He's on the road right now, for the longest trip since we've been married. I've gained 60 lbs since marriage, mostly from pregnancy and loss of recreational pursuits. He: diets constantly to stay in shape, runs, works out (even when not convenient for any of us), spends lots of money on vanity, but watches my every cent. My computer is open in living room for all to see--his is in another room and has a password lock on it that I don't have. He checks cell phone voicemail at 3am sometimes (according to the bill). Found on the business VISA that he bought a plane ticket for her for a destination that matches a trip he's going to next month (maybe he'll claim she's a client?) I'm 90% sure there is an affair. Should I be at 100%? I promise to keep you posted! Never thought I'd be here, but I think the MB approach might save my sanity, even if it doesn't save my marriage!

Always trust your gut. I would be 100% sure if it were me.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you read emotional needs and lovebusters. I would also check out surviving an affair. Sounds like the M could use some TLC.

I am new here too. The more experienced people will have some good insite for you.

Faith

Welcome to MB. You're in the right place. Wish I had been here before D-Day. The Boards are very slow on the weekend and from what I hear, August. I suggest posting over on the General Questions II board as it is much more active and watched by many of the veteran's. I just stopped by here b/c GQII is so slow tonight.

The more descriptive you are about your situation the better. As other posters will relate to you more effectively. You did good, just give up more details. I also recommend being 100% sure. Wayward spouse's will rarely, if ever, fess up on there own. You will need to bite your tongue, keep reading and posting here, and accumulate evidence. You will also learn how to get evidence, disclose it in the most proper manner, and develope a recovery plan for you, if that is your desire.

I know your scared. I too felt my life was crumbling down around me. I never thought my wife would cheat on me. However, this may be one of the biggest crossroads in your life. You may not have asked for it and if he is cheating you certainly don't deserve it (infidelity is never your fault); but, 3 years without sexual fulfillment, something had to change for both of you. You will make it, preferably with your family intact, but either way...you will make it.

Good Luck -- Mr. Wondering

Yep, looks like he's probably with her right now. His "convention" doesn't start for another day, but he flew out two days early (for the Saturday night stayover rate). Found a credit card bill for a sleepy little beachfront hotel (not the convention hotel). Seems like this can't be happening....
Even worse is the fact that he's paying for her ticket to meet him at the next convention...does he think I won't even look at a $500 charge on my corporate card?