Hi all ~

I guess it is my turn to step out of the GQ forum and into the D/D forum.

here's my story (Reader's Digest form..lol):

H involved in various EA's thru most of 2004...I found out and flipped out (oops), bounced back and forth between trying to make it work and him wanting to move out.

January 2005 - WH moves out (sort of), he continues (with my help) to have the best of both worlds...keeps his online lady "friends" and as long as I keep my mouth shut, he sleeps with me....well I'll tell ya - I kept my mouth shut about a week <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> ..finally after a couple months of my badgering him about his indiscretions online, he moves out totally in mid March..a week and a half later WH announces that he is in love (not with me, mind you) and wants a divorce <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> - WH moves in with OW.

I filed for D in June and we are still awaiting our first mediation which is coming up in Sept. most likely nothing will get settle during that one...this could be a long and bitter battle.

Thus I am now here in the D/D.....so again I say HI..


Take care,

~Jamie~

Welcome.
4 kids, and college costs looming. Sounds like a MLC to me.
Good luck. There are many great people on the board who've dealt with infidelity.

Thanks for the welcome newly!!

I used to post on the GQII board..when I first found out about my WH and his "friends"...now that we are going through divorce, I figured maybe I would see what it is like over here....so far I'm finding it is incredibly ~ slow ~ LOL.....but I will give it a try...

Take care,

Jamie

Pardon me for doing the math. Are two of your kids from a previous marriage or are there step children involved here? This may or may not matter in divorce court. (i.e. child support)

Just curious.

Hi ba109 - Yes, the two oldest are from a previous marriage, my first husband died when they were young.. WH never addopted them, we decided against it because I was collecting survivor benifits from late husband for the children. So he is not responsible for D17.

also, today I was informed by my lawyer that my WH is saying I am bringing people to the court room to say he is an unfit father,,, I never said that....and I told him I would never use these kids as pawns...I know why he is doing this..but that is a long story and I am short on time, but I did want to answer your question ba109.

I'll give an update when I have more time...

Take care,

Jamie

Hey Jamie!!!!!

**waves frantically***

it's me, Dylan.....


I'm new here too...as of today....

Hi Dylan!!

** waves frantically back**

I like your ID.....How are you doing??

email me sometime....it would be awesome!!

Take care,

~Jamie~

LOL...that has been my ID here for 6 years.....


yup...6 years.....!!


my e-mail is sacred_rain@yahoo.com

Hi all -

here's an update on my sitch:

WH and I have been bantering back and forth over what to do about division of properties. We own several rental properties and he feels that because I never worked during our 14 year marriage (infact I haven't worked since I was pregnant with my now almost 19yo son) that I am not entitled to own half...I mean - he knows that is what I'm due, but he feels it should be his..he also does not want to pay spousal support but again knows that is required by law, lastly he doesn't want me to take my share of his retirement.

Now back-up to yesterday :

I recieved a call from my lawyer stating that my WH informed his lawyer that I am going to try and prove him to be an unfit father (I never said that) and he told his lawyer that our 11yo S is a special needs child and should be in public school (our kids have always been in private, but now WH doesn't want to waste that money sending them anymore)..our son has low self-esteem already, he has a mild form of Tourettes, he is NOT special needs..if he gets labled with that title it will devistate him..this part bothers me the most..how can my WH do this to our son?? WH also is now trying to get shared primary residence...he knows how much these kids mean to me...

What he is trying to do is get me to give him the majority of the rentals, drop the spousal support and to leave his retirement alone..WH is a very controlling man...he never wanted me to work while the kids were growing up, he would give me $20 bi-weekly to spend or save how I chose. He always said that we needed to pinch pennies so that we would have money for our future..well our future consists of me being without money, not able to find a job,being made to feel like garbage due to his affair with a married co-worker with 2 children of her own and now he wants to threaten to take my kids away just so he can have leverage over this whole situation....it is taking so much willpower to for me not to react to him..because I am or have been, a very reactionary person..and WH knows that...

I'll stop here....this really gets my hackles up and I could go on a rant all day...


Take care,

~Jamie~

Don't get too excited about his 'wants'. First, find out from your atty what you are legally entitled to. Then start making YOUR want list.

If you have a decent atty, it should all balance out pretty evenly in the end.

good luck

Yesterday I was pretty uptight, but today I am much calmer. I do realize that there will be no exact "down the middle" split per se'...The home that the kids and I reside in, I bought with life insurance money from my late husband..it is now considered marital property b/c I put WH name on the deed and the laws in Maine have since changed so it is now considered a gift to the marriage.

The point of contention between us was the rentals (now it is the kids)...I feel that it is fair that he has three (which he will have 3 incomes from these..he lives with OW in her home) and I want 2 rentals plus my house..but b/c my home is assessed the highest, in order to do the split so that it is 50/50 I start out with more.. WH wants me to take the 1 mortgage that we have, drop the spousal support and leave his retirement alone to balance out the scales..if I did that then one of my rentals would be paying off the mortgage, and the other would have to be saved to pay property taxes and insurance on all three of my places...and I would still be broke..

It just boggles my mind that HE is the one to have the affair and walk out on his family and he's treating me like I'm the bad guy...He has a real good job making good money, she is from a wealthy family and they still want more...sheesh..

Take care,

~Jamie~

WH and I are headed into mediation this Wednesday..wish me luck...

I have a vent to put down:
WH calls me today after the kids and I got out of church to say that he wants to take the kids for the day..(he no longer asks if they want to go, he informs them they are going with him).anyway, he says he is going to pick them up in a 1/2 hour..I said that I was going right past OW house and could drop them off he wanted me to, to save him the trip. He says okay, and wants to know when he can expect them..I told him in 1/2 hour..which I did....to make a long story short...he just dropped them off back here and DD13 said that WH and OW left both her and DS11 and OWC DD11 and DS12 all alone (which I have no problem with if it for a short time!) and they (WH and OW) went to visit WH's brother,wife and new baby and were gone for a few hours.....okay, my gripe is why did he want the kids over so bad if he was taking off and leaving all four kids alone...unless he just wanted DD13 to be a babysitter along with OW's DS12...I just think if he is serious about spending time with his kids that he could have visited BIL another time and spent this day with his kids that he supposedly misses so much...aaarrrggghh!!!

I can't wait to bring this up in mediation!!

Take care,

~Jamie~