alright I posted to my journal but i don't know if anyone looked at it yet. It was a horrible weekend and I want to know if maybe I am overreacting to what happened or I am right to be mad.
Here goes WH picks up children for his visitation on sat morning. I find out after he dropps them off on sunday at 7pm that he went home and went to sleep and left OW in charge of kids. This upset me but it gets worse. She takes my children to a mall that is a good ways away from where they live. Puts my DD2 on a leash of all things and trots her through the mall like a puppy. aslo find out that they gave her medication that I knew nothing about what it was or how much they gave her while in his care.( I had her at the DR Fri for a well child check Not a thing wrong with her) Brings them home without feeding them at 7pm and DD2 was groggy and sleepy from meds that they gave her. I also find out that they live in a 2 bedroom house and my children had to sleep in the living room. The oldest on the couch and the baby on the floor until she woke up crying for me and then WH got up and put her in bed with them.

So am I wrong to be angry and want to discuss this with my att. I didn't have to let the children go i let them as a good faith effort on my part. Please give me a little insite as to weather or not i am on target with this.

Also need to make it know WH called MIL to find out where I was on Sat night. She told him She thought I was having dinner with friends but really didn't know. His reply was well thats good she needs to get out. WTF is that all about any help here

Wow!
I would be furious!!!!
Those poor kids!

Sounds like WH is trying to see if you moved on with your life...

Keep us posted and all the best!

Visitation rights? Bet the events that unfolded that weekend weren't part of the bargain. You might want to go back to the table and draft up a second version of the visitation rights agreement.

I'd be a little concerned too...

What kind of meds was she given? And why?

Get her to a doctor right away - get it verified that she was drugged. Then slap him silly with a suit for full custody and supervised visitation until he gets a clue!\

edited to add - restraining order against the drug pusher is in order too.

joanne,

I have to agree with KaylaAndy, WOW, having your 2yo DD come home drugged when you do have it documented by the Dr that there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with her must be a stunner. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

You need to set some boundaries, get documentation from your Dr, (get DD in there right away), and SET SOME BOUNDARIES!!!!

I meant to reply to your other thread but did not have time. So sorry,

{{{{{{hugs jonane}}}}, I know you are hurting right now. You need to get an agreement in place where children are not around ow. Talk to MIL and tell her what happened. Maybe supervised visits at MIL's without ow might be in order.

I would be furious, and I hope you are too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Do you have visitation set up, or are you just giving him visitation out of the kindness of your heart?

I would rip off his head and $h*t down his neck for several things you mentioned, and I for sure wouldn't let him have visitation where he took your children where he lives with the OW.

OMG, I want to kick the crap out of him myself....how close are you to Ohio?? LOL

-Caren

No set vistation it was by my good graces that he got them. will seek legal help with this. have an app. to see them and can get documentation from dr. from where i was there on fri. about childs condition. I am trying not to be a ****** but i can't just stand by was thinking of going to cps about this. is it a good move or not. have no idea what type of meds they where i am sure it was an over the counter med and they have no idea of how much to give. most peds meds are by weight and they didn't bother to call and find out how much she weighs. I am tring to cool down so I don't go off.
Did talk to my IC today about the sit. and he was as upset as I was about it all. family court judge here frowns on it around here. cited a case recently where ow could have no involvement with the children at all. so i am getting my ducks lined up before i act

oh and I live in central ky so come on down i will give ya directions

A stupid trick that some people who can't stand children do is give them a dose of benadryl or nyquil. By the symptoms, I can guess that's probably what it was.

{{{{{{{joann}}}}}}}}
Absolutely get your lawyer involved. You did not provide visitation so OW can spend time with the kids. If WH is too tired to care for kids, he should take a nap before he comes to get them. To have OW drive them around and parade them through a mall w/ a 2 yr old on a lesh and then give them ANY meds without you permission or knowledge TOO MUCH! Oh yeah! visitation needs to limited and supervised for the the welfare of the children. SHE should be the one on the lesh! Rotten Alien. I'm mad and I just read your post I can't imagine how you are holding it together.

You'll be in my prayers

Joanna,
The following is an article in today's paper about a child care provider who gave the children Benedryl every day to help them nap. A 1-year-old boy died and the provider is going to trial. This is, of course, an extreme but something to be aware of.

http://www.billingsgazette.com/index.php...tiny-tots_x.inc

God bless you,

Tatertot

I think I would want it in writing that the visits are at your disgression and that they have to call you before any medication is given to the children. He is using OW as a babysitter. If she is not used to children she chould have mistaken iritability with illness. Regardless, she should not be giving the children medicine without contacting you first. It may have been well intended, but I think you should come down hard on them to prevent any "well intended" accidents in the future.

PS: I love those leashes. My DD started walking around 9mo and was climbing up back of stroller even before then. She loved being able to run in the mall and the leash gave me some security. She still runs (cross country & track) and is a very well adjusted 16yr old.

Okay this is the deal widow my DD2 is very well behaved she doesn't dothat she will stay right with you and hold your hand. And NO ESPECIALLY that piece of trash is to ever do that to her again cause if I find out about it they will no longer have an arm to hold the dang thing with. And as far as the meds I feel that she was drugged because hey didn't want to deal with her crying for her mom. Because the next moring no symptems of illness I even took her to daycare.

joanna,

So what are you going to do to protect your children and fight for you marriage?

Where are your inlaws on this?

This is crucial for your children's well being. I might contact cps. Just to start documentation, if nothing else.

Get your ducks lined up, and get the law on your side. You are dealing with an alien here, oh, that would be your WS. He is not thinking about your kids, he is only thinking about himself, and trusting ow with kids when he doesn't even know her yet. But you should be getting a very clear picture of who she is at this moment.

You absolutely must protect your kids.

What boundaries are you setting? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

You sure need them after this incident. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I would say to WS, no more visits unless they are supervised, by yourself if you are not in plan B, or with a person whom you can agree on to trust. If WS doesn't like it then he can get legal counsel. And then hightail it to the courtroom, with evidence, and now!!!!!

I would say no more ow contact after this. This is why you should have taken DD to Dr and have this documented. If you did not, then document from now on.

Hard line, hon, time to set some boundaries. You don't want your DD to come home drugged again, do you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I know I seem harsh, but it is out of concern. Time to take a step away from the drama and figure out what is healthiest for you and your family/marriage.

What plan are you in? Are you applying MB principals?

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Boundries yeah right i set them and he breaks them everytime. He will not behave he is constanly undermining them how do you set boundries when they aren't listening to what you have told them. In-laws think i am being to harsh with him by not speaking to him. I have gone to plan B delievered the letter and he still chooses to attempt to make me bend.

He calls everyday and I refuse to speak to him. Then he keeps calling everyday. Then calls his mom for sympathy I have told her he needs to stop there is no reason for him to call everyday using the excuse he wants to talk to the kids. I is a way for himto check and see if we are home and what we are doing. He choose this not me. I have told him over and over before I went to plab B that I did not want a D that I wanted out family. I was as good as gold but it came down to protect my self or let him continue to destory me little by little.
And the very thought of him stating I need to get over it and him continuing to do the crap that he has done. Tell me how do you just get over it. Not going to happen. Not possible to do. I have suffered long enough In plan A tring to do the right thing and be a loving supportive wife meeting his needs
But now that I have moved into Plan B he seems to think that I should continue meeting his needs. And that is not possible how am I to do that and be strong. I have cut all contact with him.
And it bothers me that he has the need to check on me to see how I am and the kids. When i am not here he calls his mom to see where I am. Demands that I return his calls. No law says I have to and he can't make me. He is still trying to look like the victim here and isn't doing a good job of it. I would be alright most of the time but my undoing is his constant back bitting about me and the way i am behaving. The things he has told people about me is creul to say the least. I have done nothing but be honest and truthful in my dealings with him. And he belives the most horrible things that if he really searched his heart would know weren't true but I can't even defend my self cause he doesn't believe me and I'm not the lier here him and her are.

It is really hard to have someone understand what I am doing because they do not feel the pain that I feel On a daily basis. Or the hopelessness that comes with it. Or the way that even my soul is tired of the fight. I have good days and bad days and today I cried all the way home from work and for a while at home and a little tonight. And no one I mean NO One here understand that right now my children are my guiding light. They are the reason that I am still here. I love them enough that I will not leave them to the wolves. But if I could dissappear and noone find us I would in a heart beat.If I am to raise them alone then I might as well be alone.

But to be honest i am a christian and I do pray daily about everything that is happening and what will happen. But I tell you somedays I wish so pretty bad stuff to happen. But I know it won't cause I am a nonviolent person but if i could get away with it i would kick the crap out of both of them

joanna,

(((Hugs!!)))

Sounds like your inlaws are not as supportive as they could be.

Are they all good with what your WS is doing?

Of course he will bad mouth you, it is the alien speaking, not your H.

Do inlaws know what you are doing? Is that why WS calls them to find out what is up?

Once again, can you arrange for supervised visits at inlaws without ow? Is that too complicated right now?

You are not the bad guy, you are trying to set some boudaries. I still say hardline, you have to protect your kids.

Anyway, go dark as you can, and perhaps don't be so open with inlaws if that is how they are going to be, mad, cause you won't maintain contact with this craziness.

God Bless and keep away from all this craziness. If that means you have to have kids full time, so be it.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

What did your DD's doctor say she'd been drugged with? have they done tests? Your window to trace what is in her system is dwindling if you have failed to act so far. You want boundaries? They just gave you the proof you needed to lock up those boundaries like Fort Knox!

I really don't need to take her to the dr I had her there on Fri and have a statement that there was nothing wrong with her. I was talking to DD11 last night and asked her if DD2 was acting sick and was told mom all it was is that her nose was runny. I can pretty much bet that he gave her an over the counter cold med. which one I will never know but MIL says Triminic he called her about it.

Mil is trying to be supportive but she is in a hard place between he son and I. She really doesn't get what I am trying to do here. She has trouble not feeling sorry for him when he does the poor me act and its an act and I have told her. I think that I made my decision a little clearer last night. I was really upset after work and cried all the way home it was bad I got it together long enough to pick upDD2 at daycare and to get home from there but was doing it off and on all evening. She was here for a while and was trying to get me to answer the phone when he called.

I explain everyonr wants me to get over this and I can't as long as he is countinuing to interfer and undermine me. The phone calls everyday checking to see where I am and what I am doing he needs to quit. He throws out excuses that he is checking on the kids and i would believe it if he called a couple of times a week but everyday.and he will call until i answer or someone picks up the phone. It is driving me crazy. If he was so concerned about these children he would be here. Right or wrong instead of calling.

well enough for now I have to get to work check back this evening.

Joanna,

He m/b feeling guilty about his dumping the children and drugging them. Hm....

As for his calls, maybe it w/b good to send an e-mail like:

WS,
Thought I'd use this e-mail to respond to the many messages you have left. I can't talk with you because your new personality really upsets our family.

Let me reiterate again.... you can call to speak to the children, leave messages or e-mails regarding legal or financial issues (or other important stuff, etc.). But as for your messages about me getting over it, I am. I am sad but over it. Moving forward with my life is now my primary concern. So stop with the old messages. I have other help now (no details) and you just don't seem worth waiting for. I miss my H but not the character you currently are.

Gotta go....someone's calling.

Bye,
Joanna

Howz that? LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.