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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 248
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 248 |
I saw a post on here that briefly described plan A and 180 plan. Any help would be appreciated.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
It has been discussed in my posting on withdrawal. Named:
{ Is there a post or article that explains WS withdrawal? }
Feel free to read and ask any question.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Marriage Builders and the 180 are different concepts. Dr. Harley & Steve Harley says they do not mix. For more (& correct) info on the 180, go to Michele Weiner-Davis www.divorcebusting.com
Prayers & God Bless! Chris
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,813
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Joined: Jun 2004
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In my opinion, many of the guidelines on the 180 degree list (not ALL of them) are actually in sync with plan A (see my response on HLRomantic’s thread). Plan A is not just about meeting the WS needs but also to help the BS improve and work on themselves on physical, emotional and spiritual level... And both the 180 degree and plan A help the BS to accomplish this... Yes, I’m sure there are areas where plan A and some 180 degree list guidelines will clash and be in conflict with each other, but then that specific guidelines must be left out or modified in such a way that it will not influence or interfere too much with plan A.
I personally think the 180 degree can give some balance to plan A in the sense that it will help the BS to not become needy/clinging/pushy and/or become the WS’s “doormat”. It's also a way for the BS to keep their 'sanity' during plan A. Especially if certain things don't work for a BS, the 180 degree can help to get different and desired results. And I especially think the 180 degree can be useful when the WS is resistant, "foggy" and not committed to recovery, the M and NC.
Of course, this is all just my personal opinion…. Harley and Steve are the experts, so I can be wrong. However, my common sense tells me otherwise.
Suzet
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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I wrote that because people need to be familiar and stick to one plan or the other unless they are getting some professional help. As you have probably noticed, very few people who come here actually get ANY counseling and think it's very simple to DIY it by reading a few posts. It ain't.
I personally think the 180 degree can give some balance to plan A in the sense that it will help the BS to not become needy/clinging/pushy and/or become the WS’s “doormat”. Not being a doormat or clingy/needy/pushy is part of Plan A is. Yes, there are overlapping ideas between most "techniques" for saving a marriage, but I suggest people check out a few and stick to one. Don't mix & match (again, unless working with a professional).
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