Hi Eav. Your sitch sounds a little like mine so I can relate. I was in a depression for close to 2 years starting when the company I worked for closed and everyone including me was laid off. In the depression I started gaining weight. And one thing led to another until my whole M started to snowball right back downhill. H had just moved back home too after a separation. (although had my company not closed he would not have moved back in at that time. we were just starting to work on some things). Thus, my unhappines caused his unhappiness and everything has been a huge mess since. Affairs and all.

I am like you in that I am very emotional and reactionary. I have had to learn to STOP AND BREATHE BEFORE I SPEAK. I don't always succeed. All that reverse babble went straight outa my head the other day when I needed it the most! I have always been one to say my mind right then and there. I have had to learn to curb that a bit as well. My H these past going on 3 years is NOT the man I married at all. I try very hard to be nice but sometimes I just want to smack the sh*t out of him! He has moved out to stay with family friends ( we both decided it would be best, although I think he would have gladly stayed here and ate his cake).

There are a lot of things I would like to say to my H but you know what? I know right now he is not going to hear a word of it. So I very rarely bother. I believe actions will speak louder than words so I am working on my actions. And working and working and working. A major work in progress. I know the person i want to be and the person i don't want to be. I am working towards the first one.

Keep posting and I hope you are able to work on these things as I too am working on them. I don't know if I want my H back or not but even if not I still want to be the best I can be and not be so emotional and reactionary. It is a win win for me I guess. hugs, mlhb

thank you for sharing your situation mlhb

you sound as though you have come through your depression!

that's wonderful!



this is me exactly! we are alike!

i doenvy you though because your husband still wants to be with you so there is much hope.

how do youdeal with your feelings that your depression caused this?

My h does not want to be with me eav. sorry if you misread my post on that part. he wants nothing to do with me right now believe me. I have exposed him to all his family, etc, and he is furious. My depression broke when I found out for 100% sure he had had an affair last fall and broke up her marriage of less than 6 months to one of our local cops. I had suspected him many times but ignorance is bliss I guess. I snapped right out of it. Went to this site, started reading, and making changes asap. No looking back. I will never let anyone or anything ever let me get that low again. If you ever want to talk you can email me at [email]mboyea2@yahoo.com.[/email] Gotta run. mlhb