|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
HLR: My advice would be to wait and find out for sure if there is really No Contact in place, because if there isn't it's all going to be a colossal waste of time. You will get nothing but more lies and/or more anger and bullying from her during this dinner conversation.
What evidence do you have that there is NC, besides what your wife is telling you? Anything at all?
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
HLR: My advice would be to wait and find out for sure if there is really No Contact in place, because if there isn't it's all going to be a colossal waste of time. You will get nothing but more lies and/or more anger and bullying from her during this dinner conversation.
What evidence do you have that there is NC, besides what your wife is telling you? Anything at all?
Mulan Nothing, far as I can tell she is and had been telling the truth since D-day plus one week but she hasn't been committed to an NC letter. I have ways of verifying what she tells me and she has had no free time since D-Day, very busy at work…She calls several times a day and the caller Id registers her place of employment, but of course she knows that its on the caller ID.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Post deleted by MelodyLane
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Post deleted by MelodyLane
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Post deleted by MelodyLane
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Post deleted by MelodyLane
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
I still plan on sharing some of my thoughts and concerns about my M with my W. But, I won’t push her to hard. I’m going to ask her to let me know more about her life <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I might remind her how much honesty means to me. Would she consider an NC letter? It’s a start,
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 613
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 613 |
Post deleted by InLikeFlynn <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
COPYCAT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
Hey! What did I miss? Why all the deleted posts??
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hey! What did I miss? Why all the deleted posts??
Mulan If we told ya, we would have ta kill ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
If we told ya, we would have ta kill ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> ML you kill me and Lord knows I need a good laugh!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She is going to kick my [censored]! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 351 |
What if it’s not my WS that is creating the current problems, maybe its me?
I asked her, some more questions this yesterday and she asked why do you keep asking the same questions, when it makes me so sad? You would think that if I tell you its over and I’m not going to see him that should ended it “The questions about the affair” but you keep coming up with something to remind me of the pain I caused.
Is she right, do I tell her how I’m feeling or ask questions to remind her she’s a bad person?
I Love her and have made sure that I only ask questions about once a week now, but if I bring up any of the affair or how I feeling she gets upset, on the other hand if she brings it up we can talk at length with out a problem, maybe I should just keep some of my thoughts to myself?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 764
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 764 |
Now that is not fair is it? You and yoru wife need to communicate. It has been over a year since D-day for me and we have yet to really "discuss" her affair. She had a problem being totally honest and is still hesitant to discuss anything to do with her job, the employee, the customer (the unknown PA) but it is getting better. I hav einsisted that we should know how WE BOTH FEEL, not just me..not just her. In fact when this customer decided to contact her (business related) I specifically asked how she felt about it. In fact there is some angst on both our sides regarding that business relationship (apparently this customer is going to be partners on a joint venture). NC is NC and she sent him a NC e-mail...she is also not attending a company sponsored event because he will be there.
So what I am saying is that she is being selfish by letting her feelings be known abd not yours. You need to be very diplomatic about it, no LB's...but matter of fact. My XW said that I was mean...I was not...but sometimes the truth is mean...
|
|
|
|
1 members (finnbentley),
634
guests, and
82
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,044
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
